Super Bowl Mania

One of the Fort Worth Zoo's Western lowland gorillas, 37-year-old Amani, picks the Saints to win Super Bowl XLIV by selecting a paper mache football with a New Orleans logo that is filled with gorilla game day treats such as peanuts, popcorn, grapes, raisins and Great Ape biscuits.

Ah, the big game has finally arrived, and although out beloved New England Patriots aren’t in it this year, the Super Bowl promises to be an entertaining one. From the chicken wings and beers to funny commercials and the actual game, the Super Bowl is a holiday and one of the best days of the year.

It’s also a day to make some cold, hard cash. There are plenty of ways to make some lettuce on Super Bowl Sunday, and not just taking New Orleans plus six (easy cash). Bodog, an online gambling site with everything from poker to sports betting, has some interesting prop bets out there for Sunday’s game. Here are just a few of the interesting ones. Check out Bodog’s game page for all of them.

Colts’  MVP Odds: Reggie Wayne (10-1), Dallas Clark (12-1): Manning’s two favorite targets can both easily win the Super Bowl MVP award. Peyton Manning (2-3) is a safer bet, although you win only two bucks for every three you risk.

Saints’ MVP Odds: Pierre Thomas (10-1), Reggie Bush (10-1): The Reggie Bush play is a nice one. He busts big plays, and is a punt return and a screen pass away from taking home $10 bucks for every dollar you bet. Not bad odds, better than Drew Brees’ (9-4).

Passing yards Over/Under: Both Manning and Brees have their over-unders at 300½. Many people think of this as a high-scoring affair, so both going over is probably going to happen.

Who will have more receptions in the game: Devery Henderson (+1½) or Marques Colston: Take Colston, he is Brees’ No. 1 threat and the 1½ is a joke.

Over/Under Rushing Yards on First Attempt: Both Reggie Bush and Joseph Addai have the over-under at 3½. Both could easily get it done.

Still not satisfied? Bodog has money lines on pretty much every aspect of the game, from the coin toss to historical matchups (like will Drew Brees pass for more yards than John Elway did in Super Bowl XXI).

Want to get a little crazy with your bets? Vegas Watch has some of the more absurd lines on the big game. Check it out for everyone from What color Gatorade will be dumped on the winning coach? to Who will the Super Bowl MVP thank first?

Looking for a little more inside info on the big game on Sunday? New Bedford football guru Jonathan Comey will be blogging live from the Super Bowl. He’s the sports editor at The Standard-Times, and although he doesn’t work for a mega media outlet, he’s a better writer and knows more about football than most of those national dudes.

Anyway, how do members of Decent Community see the big game shaping out on Sunday?

Stan (Saints 3, Colts 2): “Blame it on the Rain…YEAH YEAH”

Pino (Saints 31, Colts 24): “The spirits of Katrina will arise from the bayou and the Saints will come marching home with a Super Bowl win.”

Comber (Saints 31 Colts 20): “Where’s DOSS!? Too much Brees for Colts gay defense. Go SAINTS”

Houser (Saints 31, Colts 24): “Saints go marching on …”

Gagliaduchi (Saints 28, Colts 24): “Who dat?!!”

Noozle (Saints 34, Colts 28): “Reggie Bush Superbowl MVP with 200+ all purpose yds, a receiving and rushing touchdown.  After receiving superbowl MVP trophy Bush is caught boning his lady in the locker room.  Monday morning TMZ is all over this and there is a viral video spreading through the interweb.  Kardashian is looking great in it.”

Uncle Jesse (Colts 34, Saints 31): “Too much time for Manning to prepare for this one. Should be a shoot out but the Colts hold on by a field goal.”

Biltvoncliffe (Saints 41, Colts 28): “Everyone comes out guns blazin’.  I hear big Dwight hurt his ankle though.  This gives The Saints the edge.”

Yim (Saints 28, Colts 20): “I do not think it will be a shoot-out. I think the defenses will play well.”

Fugaze (Colts 42, Saints 38): Sit back and enjoy one hell of a show.

Helmet Head: “I want the Saints but think the Colts will win. I can’t be certain at this point. The Colts will most likely score 27 points (3 TDs and 2 FGs) and I predict the Saints to score a little less.  Probably 21 (3 TDs)… Maybe even 17 (2 TDs and a FG).  I found this picture of Peyton Manning on some fat chicks blog.  It grosses me out.  It grossed me out even more when i actually right clicked and pasted it here.”

Tubesteak (Colts 34, Saints 20): “If winning the Super Bowl meant winning gift certificates to Urban Outfitters, I think the Saints find a way to pull this out. But they’re playing for some stupid trophy, so I’m thinking the Colts win this shit fairly comfortably.”

Thursday Ramblings

Tough Guy

How cool was “Saved by the Bell?” The decent show from years ago still brings back fond memories. Apparently, according to Screech, it was wicked awesome to be on the show. In his autobiography, he details many scandals that happened on and off the set. Slater raping a girl in his trailer. Zach Morris and Kelly Kapowski having threesums with the cocaine-using producer. Slater, Morris and Screech all banging Kelly then Jesse than Lisa. Screech scoring with an NBC executive. I’m not kidding, read more about it in a review of Dustin Diamond’s book. … So you think you’re the toughest of the tough? The baddest of the bad? The man, the coolest, bestest dude out there? Try your hand at the annual “Tough Guy” race next year. Held every February, the race pits hundreds of macho toughguys, from Army rangers to police captains to athletes, through an 8-mile obstacle course full of barbed wire, firepits, broken glass, ziplines and every other hell you can imagine. The Daily Mail did a nice pictorial of it and this looks like it’s the real deal. “We have our fair share of broken bones,” one of the organizers said about the annual race that raises funds for a variety of charities. … Three links for your enjoyment this Thursday: 1) Answers to the top 25 questions about Apple’s new iPad; 2) CNN has a profile about the new $7,500 sex robot; and 3) The seven most-believed police myths, thanks to movies. …  How awesome was it when the very decent Budweiser Clydesdales spent a week in downtown New Bedford last summer? It seems that’s going to be the last time anyone sees them for a while. The beer company has announced that the famous horsies will not appear in a Super Bowl commercial this year, marking the end of a more than 20-year run of featuring their likeness during the big game. Hopefully, they’ll make a return in 2011 at halftime of a Patriots-Saints Super Bowl. … Yesterday was National Signing Day for high school football players to commit to play at the college level. The University of Florida, Texas and USC were once again the big winners. But as time will tell, whether these stud high-schoolers pan out is anyone’s guess. A look at the last 25 Gatorade Players of the Year in high school shows some mixed results, to people playing in the Super Bowl this weekend (Peyton Manning) to guys now working for a roofing company in Minnesota (Chris Walsh, POY in 1992). Two interesting tidbits from looking at the list: 1) Minnesota Twins catcher Joe Mauer was the best high school football player in 2001 and turned down offers from Notre Dame and Miami to pursue a baseball career; and 2) Tim Couch, former Kentucky QB and No. 1 overall pick by the Cleveland Browns who was POY in 1996, is now married to Playboy centerfold Heather Kozar. … Speaking of football, happy 51st birthday to Lawrence Taylor. While he is remembered as probably the most feared defensive player in NFL history, Taylor is probably more well known for his abuse of drugs and alcohol that led to multiple arrests. Did you know that Taylor used to pay hookers to visit players on the opposing teams the night before games to tire them out? And for a bonus, did you know that Taylor’s son has signed a letter of intent to play college football at Purdue next season? … Happy 62nd birthday to rocker Alice Cooper. His hits, among several others,  include “School’s Out” and “Poison.” Did you know that Cooper is the Godfather to Megadeath frontman Dave Mustaine? … Coming tomorrow to Decent Community: The right proposition bets to make you some Super Bowl cash, as well as predictions from some Decent experts.

Thursday Ramblings

Looking for Patriots news? The best source is by far Mike Reiss’ blog on ESPNBoston.com. The former Globe Pats writer updates his blog several times every day and his Mailbag is second to none. … So I’ll bet $100 that if you have both Tom Brady and Steve Slaton on your Fantasy Football Team, you’re 0-2, like me. … GoogleNews was no working for a couple of hours on Tuesday. Why did I mention this? When’s the last time you heard of anything Google-related not being up to speed? … Three links for your reading enjoyment (after you leave Decent Community, of course): 1.How XBOX360 is used to fight heart disease; 2) Hungry for some Spotted Dick? You’re in luck as a city council in the U.K. recently reversed its decision to force a local restaurant to rename it “Spotted Richard;” and  3) What better way for high school senior girls to haze incoming freshmen that to put together a Slut List. Girls apparently are upset they didn’t make it onto the list, which has been an annual tradition at a New Jersey high school for more than 10 years. Only in Jersey. … It looks like we see what side the Red Sox organization took in the Nick Green-Jason Varitek-Heidi Watney love triangle. The Sox dismissed Green from the team and sent him back to Boston to chill while Watney follows the squad on their road trip. … Had a great idea for a contest the other day. How about CBS, who’s broadcasting this year’s Super Bowl, giving away a 30-second commercial spot to a small business? It could have an essay contest or some internet vide contest with the gold being a commercial that will make your biz big bucks. Wonder if Boston Regulatory Consulting would enter? … Happy 52nd birthday to German soccer player Wolfgang Wolf. What a decent name! …  Happy 33rd birthday to Stephanie McMahon, former wrestler, daughter of WWF founder Vince McMahon and wife to Triple H. Did you know that one of her storylines during her wrestling days had her getting abducted by the Undertaker, who was going to marry her in the middle of the ring before Stong Cold Steve Austin came in and saved her? … Happy 36th birthday to former NFL running back Eddie George. Did you know that George is married to Tamara “Taj” Johnson, a contestant on Survivor: Tocantins? Did you also know that his mother, a flight attendant, changed her work schedule to be at George’s side when he signed his first NFL contract? If she didn’t change, she would have been on TWA Flight 800, which exploded over the Atlantic Ocean in 1996 due to faulty wiring, killing all 230 people on board. … Finally, happy 29th birthday to Community member Tom “Bunt” Stankiewicz, who heads up DC’s San Francisco bureau. Do you know anyone else who has damaged their car by slamming into a frozen turkey?

THE SUPER BOWL IS SUNDAY!

With the Patriots not even sniffing the NFL Playoffs this year, the entire postseason has been a little slower around New England. However, in case you’ve forgotten, THE SUPER BOWL IS SUNDAY!

That’s right, whether the Pats are in it or not, Sunday is still the biggest combination of beer, grizzle and football you’re gonna find this year. Piles of pizza boxes, pounds of chicken wings, burgers, steaks, ribs … oh my!Cold bronsons, amusing commercials, the Boss and, hopefully, a damn good football game.

We take gambling very seriously at Decent Community, and if our bookie, Tony, didn’t get pinched by the po-po in an illegal cockfighting ring, we’d be putting down serious lettuce on the CARDINALS (+7)because 1) NOBODY (not even you) thinks they can win this game; 2) The Steelers offense isn’t that toughguy; 3) Arizona has enough playmakers to keep the game within six points.

It stings a little rooting for a team that had to buy thousands of home playoff tickets and give them away at avoid TV blackout; won the ultra-pathetic NFC West; failed to even get off the bus in snowy Foxboro earlier this season; and has Kurt “I still have nightmares of Willie McGinest and Ty Law from Super Bowl 36” Warner, but anything’s better than cheering for the yellow-towel-waving RoethlisPalamalus. Final prediction: Cardinals 22, Steelers 19.

What’s wrong with broccoli sex?

The above image is an advertisement for AshleyMadison.com, a Web site that, well simply put, guarantees you an affair, or your money back! Here’s how it works: You’re married, your spouse sucks in bed or you’re getting bored banging the same partner over and over again, so you want to have an affair. Boom, fork over $250 to the Ashley Madison Agency, and if they can’t set you up for some adultery, they’ll refund your cash-ola.

Decent Community tried to contact co-workers, bar-goers, gym fanatics, poolboys and escorts for comment on their new competition, but were unsuccessful. However, Salvadore, an Italian pizza delivery guy from Fall River, told Decent Community, “I’m getting a new job! If lonely milfs aren’t going to bone me anymore because they’re on some Web site, why am I still delivering extra-sausage pizzas?”

AshleyMadison comes into focus on the heels of several media outlets reporting the above ad was rejected by the NFL for its Super Bowl XLIII program. Go Daddy.com and PETA also had some proposed commercials shot down by the league. PETA’s rejected spot is below (Editor’s note: Decent Community finds this extremely appropriate and tasteful.)