F**K You, Buffalo, Twice Over

What’s the best way to celebrate your football team winning on Sunday? Flip off those losers, of course!

That’s exactly what Tennessee Titans owner Bud Adams did yesterday in his team’s victory over visiting Buffalo. Jim Wyatt, a columnist at the Nashville Tennessean, caught Adams in the act for a SECOND TIME. The video above was taken in the fourth quarter, minutes before Adams went down to the field to flip them off again.

“The 86-year-old owner made an appearance on the sideline in the closing minutes, and even did a little dance as the Titans capped a 41–17 victory. Then he turned toward the Buffalo sideline and gave the Bills the middle finger. Make that two middle fingers — Adams was using both hands,” he wrote in Monday’s edition.

I wonder if the NFL will fine him? That would run Ochocinco about $20,000. Apparently, middle fingers were flying around a lot on Sunday. I popped a few in the closing minutes of that disaster in Indy last night, which is still painful to talk about (sorry to bring it up and ruin your day, Pats fans).

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The Emasculating Fall Foliage Tour

fall foliage

Avoid leaf peeping unless you want to turn into the guy in this picture!

Right around this time every year chicks start hounding their men to take them up to New Hampshire or Vermont in the name of trees, manipulated romance, and corny, clichéd photos featuring earth-toned sweaters like the ones above. “A leaf-peeping tour,” if you will, where you stay at a bed and breakfast, look at trees, buy some homemade maple syrup, and basically have your balls chopped off.

With news of intense hues predicted for this fall season, let this serve as a tip-off to the impending threat on your manhood. Fall weekends are for football, beers, buffalo wings, and washing your sports car unless you’re a half-witted buffoon who gets totally dominated by your broad. Seriously — wasting a weekend to look at trees and sip on apple cider in your cute little fleece vests? Do you enjoy humiliating yourself?

If you’re decent, you’ll avoid the trip at all costs. But if you do find yourself driving up to NH or VT, take notice of the foliage from your car, point it out to your girl, and make a quick U-turn because you’ll have seen everything there is to see. If you do actually go on a fall foliage tour, guard that secret with your life! Otherwise, your dignity will be forever compromised. Your woman will have stripped you of your balls, and she’ll gladly put them on display for all your buddies to see…and then, my former friend, you’re a goner.

Latest New England Sports Dynasty

We’d like to take moment to get Community members acquainted with the New England Euphoria of the Lingerie Football League, which starts its season September 18th. These broads play full contact, 7-on-7 football in lingerie and skimpy pads. Other teams have formed in Chicago, Miami, Atlanta, Tampa, Dallas, Denver, Los Angeles, San Diego and Seattle. The Euphoria will make their home at The Dunk in Providence.

Looking over their “stacked” roster, The Community foresees the Euphoria continuing New England gridiron dominance. The squad features a running back and a DB from Medford, a QB from Fall River, and a safety from Danvers. Sounds like a hard-nosed team — which is why we picked up season tickets for the ’09 campaign!

To guarantee a championship, the owners of the Euphoira would be wise to enlist Belichick’s rumored fiance, Linda “The Ultimate Cougar” Holiday, to head up all football operations. As we all know, the Hooded One oozes football intelligence — and we imagine Ms. Holiday has been “taking in” quite a bit of that ooze.

(Thanks to Community member “Muffranch” for buying us seasons.)

Patriots Draft Preview

The 2009 NFL Draft is huge for the New England Patriots, with age seeming to creep into every position on the field, especially on the defensive side of the ball. So how is this important draft going to go down?

Ok, for starters, the Patriots currently have one first-round pick (No. 23) and three second-round selections (Nos. 2, 15 and 26). On top of that, they are picking twice in the third round (Nos. 25 and 33). broken down, the Pats have 6 picks in the top 97. Decent!

Obviously they won’t make all six selections. “I don’t think I’ve ever been in a draft where we have the potential flexibility we have this year,” Bill Belichick told reporters this week in his pre-draft press conference. “There has already been discussions with multiple teams regarding our multiple picks.”

Translation: The Pats are on the move! Here’s what I’d like to see:

Patriots trade their first-round pick (23) and a third-rounder to Denver for Denver’s No. 12 overall pick: The Broncos like this because they also have another pick from the Jay Cutler deal in the first round, and after spending like drunken sailors in free agency, will get some cost savings in selecting 18 and 23 (rather than 12). I hope the Pats take Malcom Jenkins, Cornerback from Ohio State. He’s the best corner in the draft, and is also the best safety, as some Draft gurus have projected him to move there. He’s got the size (6-0, 200lbs) to play either position and could be a long-term solution to an aging secondary.

Pats acquire Julius Peppers for the No. 2 pick in the second round: Peppers is a beast who can rush the passer and drop into coverage. Normally a defensive end, Peppers will be asked to play a more hybrid role with some outside linebacker. This move also signifies the replacement for Richard Seymour, who has had a stellar career full of Pro Bowls. As much as Big Rich is the man, he’s not getting any younger (he’s turning 30 during the upcoming season) and if there’s one thing that Patriots don’t do it’s pay big contracts to players over 30.

New England will probably trade one of its two remaining second-round picks for a 2 and a 3 next year. The Pats are always thinking ahead and the extra picks give them more flexibility next year. Which one (They have Nos. 15 and 26) depends who’s still available at that 15 spot and who might still be available at 26. USC’s Brian Cushing may slip to the 15 spot, while teammate Clay Matthews is also an option. But the two guys I like here are Cincinnati’s Connor Barwin, a 6-4, 256-pound beast of an outside linebacker, and Virginia’s Clint Sintim (6-3, 256), who played outside linebacker in college but is expected to transition into an inside backer in the pros. Also, Texas Tech Safety Darcel McBath (think highlight-reel type of safety) may be a good option late in the second round.

Depending on what happens earlier, the remaining third-round pick may be used on the offensive line (Matt Light’s not getting any younger) with tackle Phil Loadholt (6-8, 322) from Oklahoma or Oregon State guard Andy Levitre (6-3, 305).  Virginia running back Cedric Peerman (5-10, 216 with good pass protection skills) is also a nice option.

Day 2 (Round 4-7) is pretty much spent on value picks. Expect to see a lot of best available player taken, regardless of position. Maybe guys like Syracuse fullback Tony Fiammetta (former tight end), Clemson runing back James Davis (downhill physical runner), West Virginia QB Pat White (freak athlete), Ball State QB Nate Davis (strong arm), Stillman defensive tackle Sammie Lee Hill (6-4, 331 who dominated lesser competition at whatever Stillman college is), USC cornerback Cary Harris (coach’s dream type of work ethic), or Eastern Michigan tackle T.J. Lang (plays with a nasty demeanor) would make nice Pats in the later rounds.

Then again, the Pats could just draft someone nobody knows (Matt Cassel) and turn him into a player.

Have a good weekend everyone. Thursday Ramblings return next week as well as results of the first two Topes games and the details of our Phish Ticket Giveaway.

THE SUPER BOWL IS SUNDAY!

With the Patriots not even sniffing the NFL Playoffs this year, the entire postseason has been a little slower around New England. However, in case you’ve forgotten, THE SUPER BOWL IS SUNDAY!

That’s right, whether the Pats are in it or not, Sunday is still the biggest combination of beer, grizzle and football you’re gonna find this year. Piles of pizza boxes, pounds of chicken wings, burgers, steaks, ribs … oh my!Cold bronsons, amusing commercials, the Boss and, hopefully, a damn good football game.

We take gambling very seriously at Decent Community, and if our bookie, Tony, didn’t get pinched by the po-po in an illegal cockfighting ring, we’d be putting down serious lettuce on the CARDINALS (+7)because 1) NOBODY (not even you) thinks they can win this game; 2) The Steelers offense isn’t that toughguy; 3) Arizona has enough playmakers to keep the game within six points.

It stings a little rooting for a team that had to buy thousands of home playoff tickets and give them away at avoid TV blackout; won the ultra-pathetic NFC West; failed to even get off the bus in snowy Foxboro earlier this season; and has Kurt “I still have nightmares of Willie McGinest and Ty Law from Super Bowl 36” Warner, but anything’s better than cheering for the yellow-towel-waving RoethlisPalamalus. Final prediction: Cardinals 22, Steelers 19.

What’s wrong with broccoli sex?

The above image is an advertisement for AshleyMadison.com, a Web site that, well simply put, guarantees you an affair, or your money back! Here’s how it works: You’re married, your spouse sucks in bed or you’re getting bored banging the same partner over and over again, so you want to have an affair. Boom, fork over $250 to the Ashley Madison Agency, and if they can’t set you up for some adultery, they’ll refund your cash-ola.

Decent Community tried to contact co-workers, bar-goers, gym fanatics, poolboys and escorts for comment on their new competition, but were unsuccessful. However, Salvadore, an Italian pizza delivery guy from Fall River, told Decent Community, “I’m getting a new job! If lonely milfs aren’t going to bone me anymore because they’re on some Web site, why am I still delivering extra-sausage pizzas?”

AshleyMadison comes into focus on the heels of several media outlets reporting the above ad was rejected by the NFL for its Super Bowl XLIII program. Go Daddy.com and PETA also had some proposed commercials shot down by the league. PETA’s rejected spot is below (Editor’s note: Decent Community finds this extremely appropriate and tasteful.)

New England Sports Taco of Decency

The taco.  A symbol of versatility, variety, youth, creativity and perseverance.  The fact that a taco can be filled with practically any meat and cheese illustrates its versatility and variety.  Versatility, variety and perseverance, now there are 3 qualities that the P-Men have illustrated in this decade, and with Brady’s unfortunate injury yesterday, the Pats will have to embrace those qualities in order to compete this year.  No Brady is a big bummer.  Brady is far and away the Most Valuable Player to his particular team, including the Colts and Manning, and after sitting out all pre-season games, Brady appears be out for the 08-09 season.  Not decent!  If Brady can’t play, can the P-Men compete?

We believe that the Pats and the Guru will find a way to win as they have done for the past 8 years.  It is true; the show must go on.  The P-Men didn’t look good against the Chiefs yesterday, that’s no secret, and next week when they face the Jets and Eric Mangini In a Bottle, New England Sports fans will get a glimpse of the P’s versatility, and hopefully what will be the resurrection of the pinnacle team in the New England Sports Taco of Decency. 

Put it this way, if the Giants can beat the P-Men with pouty McGee Eli Manning, the P-Men, the team with the best offensive and defensive lines, Vrabel, Randy Moss, Wes Welker, Larry Maroney, et al., can do their job and get into the Playoffs.