Black Friday Sales At The Decent Community Store

Avoid crazy crowds on Black Friday by ordering goods online from the Decent Community store.

Friday is the day for deals, sales and bargains across the country. You name it, it’s on sale for at least 20 percent off. It is dubbed “Black Friday” because retailers usually sell so much stuff they make a profit, or get in the black, on that day for the entire year. Not bad.

Well Decent Community has had an awesome year and we don’t need the day after Thanksgiving to make a profit for the year. That’s right, we’re rolling in decent dough over here. Why do you care if Helmet Head, Tubesteak and I are loaded with lettuce? Because we can offer discounts of up to 80 percent on our most popular items from the Decent Community store and not have to worry about losing cash this year.

These deals are only valid on Black Friday, so get your decent gifts while you can. Plus, it’s safer to stay home and order online, especially seeing some Wal-Mart worker was killed last year by a stampeed of irate Black Friday shoppers. Anyway, here are four of our best items that are sure to sell out quick. All make great presents for the decent fan on your Christmas list. Think the Decent Community store should add a new item? Drop us a line at DecentCommunity@gmail.com or leave a comment.

Autographed original copy of “Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer as Dildo
Regular price: $99.99
Black Friday price: $59.99 (40% off)
This is the top seller at the Decent Community store, and for good reason. Tubesteak’s investigative reporting uncovered this story that led to an Internet sensation, drawing more than 179 comments (most are hysterical) and generating more than 567,000 hits alone. This is a collector’s item that experts say will only increase in value as time passes.

Unedited copy of Helmet Head and his Horselover‘s homemade porno
Regular price: $19.99
Black Friday price: $4.99 (75% off)
Surprisingly, this is one of the worst sellers at the Community store. Apparently, not even the ladies want to see Helmet and his former horse lover doing the nasty. Only one copy has been sold so far and that was to Bryan Welch, an employee at the Boston-based Michael’s Moving Co. He must have a thing for animal porn or something.

Full-length Decent Collage poster
Regular price: $199.99
Black Friday price: $99.00 (50% off)
One of our most popular items is this 9-foot-by-9-foot, full color poster of the entire Decent Collage. Yes, for just under $100 you can have the likenesses of Hulk Hogan, Chuck Norris, Tecmo Superbowl, the Mona Lisa, a BLT, Mike and Ikes, Alex Trabek and more displayed on your wall.

Limited edition preview issue of The Isotopes Times
Regular price: $39.99
Black Friday price: $9.99 (75% off)
This is the collector’s item to end all collector’s item. With the Isotopes no longer playing softball, this remains the last edition of The Isotopes Times. On Friday, you can have one of a handful of prints, autographed by all your favorite players, including coach Jon Darling, power hitter Yim, drunk pitcher Matt Biltcliffe, businessman Pat Long and the rocket-armed Dave Gags. Editor’s Note: For a very limited time, Decent Community is offering signed copies of all three preview issues of The Isotopes Times dating back to the 2007 season. These once-in-a-lifetime collectibles are available by acution only. E-mail DecentCommunity@gmail.com for auction information.

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100 Parking Tickets Paid For By Stranger

ticket

Last Monday between 10pm-1am, 100 poor slobs were given parking tickets in the blocks between Mass Ave, Tremont Street, Dartmouth Street and Beacon Street in the South End and Back Bay areas of Boston.  On Tuesday morning 100 once poor slobs but now lucky bastards returned to their cars.  However, in place of a orange Boston City parking violation was a little note, which read “your parking violation has been paid (3 of 100)” and on the flip-side of the page a copy of this post:  CLICK HERE.

Some decent individual took Tubesteak and Decent Community’s words to heart and performed 100 random acts of kindness that humid July night.  Those 100 parking violations were paid for, in-full, by some unknown Decent Community reader!

I know what you’re thinking — this must be a marketing stunt performed by The Community!  Well I’m here to tell you it’s not.  We don’t have that kind of lettuce.  We were contacted by 1 of the 100 grateful recipients that happened to be a Community reader and had recognized the words on the note as a past Decent Community post.

So, If you read this, Mr. Parking Ticket Man, The Community salutes you and your random acts of kindness!  You, my decent friend, are not only our decent bastard of the week, you’re our decent bastard of the month!

Phish Ticket Giveaway Winner!

Phish Ticket

Jake Dog receiving the ticket from the Decent Community brass.

Congratulations to Jacob Alexander, the winner of our Phish Ticket Giveaway! Jake was able to get 19 different people to e-mail us pictures for Decent Collage, making him the winner of a free Lawn Seat to see Phish on Saturday at the Comcast Center in Mansfield, Mass. Steve Sicalri made a late push but finished second with 11 different people to send us pics. Wrapping up the contest was Matildalee with five different peeps. Thanks to all who entered.

So Jake, get ready to rock! Touch base with us so we can get you that free ticket. 

Thanks to all who entered. Look for the guys wearing the Decent Community t-shirts on Saturday and come say hi or waaaaaazzzzahhhh!

Don’t bother looking for Jeff Dunham at the show, however. Who’s Jeff Dunham? He’s an overweight, 43-year-old virgin who lives with his parents and plays World of Warcraft all weekend. He’s also the guy who kept tagging out posts for the concert as Spam on Craigslist. E-mail him at jdunham4@hotmail.com and tell him how much of a cocksmoker he is!

Phish Ticket Giveaway Update

phish ticket

Decent Community and its founders would like to give a brief update on the status of the Phish Ticket Giveway!

We have had “some” interest in the ticket!  We have a slew of folks with one pic but no one has gotten more than 2 people to submit a pic on their behalf!!  So what does this mean!!!?  The contest is wide open!!!!

Maybe Phish is played out!!!!!?  Maybe there’s not interest in a free ticket!!!!!!?  Maybe people think it’s a hoax!!!!!!?  Or, god forbid, maybe Phish fans don’t read The Community!!!!!!!?  If that’s the case I resign from my position and gladly leave my Community badge with security on my way out!!!!!!!!!

I think, however, most people just don’t understand the rules of the contest!!!!!!!!!  It’s really quite simple!!!!!!!!!! 

All you have to do is:

1.  Email all your friends asking them to submit a picture (of anything) on your behalf to decentcommunity@gmail.com!!!!!!!!!!!

All your friends have to do is:

1.  Send in any picture they think is decent with your name in the subject (cool, funny, ugly, horn inducing, etc.)!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s basically it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For example: 

If Tubesteak wanted to win the contest he would email Helmet and Fugaze!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Helmet and Fugaze would each send an email to decentcommunity@gmail.com with “Tubesteak” in the subject line!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  If both Helmet and Fugaze sent in a pic Tubesteak would get two points!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The more people you get to email a picture for The Collage to decentcommunity@gmail.com the better chance you have at winning a free ticket to see Phish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Some people have just emailed us randomly asking for the ticket, which is nice…  But, to win the ticket you must follow the rules, man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!