Aztec Civilization Making Comeback

aztec-warrior-jaguar

CENTRAL MEXICO — Recent reports out of Central Mexico indicate that the Aztec civilization is making a cumback (my girl edited this) in attempt to regain its dominance held in the 14th, 15th and 16th centuries. 

Mexican authorities recently apprehended three unnamed Aztec warriors after a public human sacrifice in a Western Mexico suburb.  “Once we got the men to stop carving sketches into the prison wall we were able to ask them why they were terrorizing our communities.  While the motives behind the recent invasion of our towns are unknown, we have learned that there are two main causes for the Aztecs striking back,” a Mexican authority said after questioning the three little bastards.

The Aztecs stated their main reason for their violent return is to hunt down and kill Spanish conquistadors such as Hernán Cortés and Bernal Díaz delCastillo, but, when informed that both men died in 1547, they confessed that the Spanish conquistadors are a front for their primary reason for attacking.

The men finally admitted that they’ve stepped back into the spotlight because of the misconception that a chalupa is the dog from the Taco Bell commercials, indicating that any individual that doesn’t know the difference between a dog and a chalupa does not deserve to live.

Those close to the Aztecs say they hope that after they’ve destroyed weaker civilizations, they can continue their development by applying for membership in the World Health Organization to increase their access to essential medication, International Conference of Harmonization to promote free trade of their corn products, and The United Nations to promote international law.

The Aztecs have made reference to some things they will not destroy as their civilization grows:  Shark Week on the Discovery Chanel, The Tampa Bay Rays, The Home Shopping Network, The Mississippi River, chocolate and Smart Cars.  Everything else is expected to be killed or burned to the ground accordingly.

Advertisements

Bored? Check out Decent Collage

 zebra-on-a-bike-lion

Hey!  Check it out!  Why not!?  Give it a shot?  What do ya say?  What else you got to do!?  Nobody will hate on you!  Pass some time with The Collage!  Get a photo right in there if you choose!  All right!  You’re a good guy!  Wow!  Have a great day!  CLICK ME — you know you want to.

Yo, What Gives? Asteroid Nearly Misses Earth

asteroids

Yo, what gives!?  Last night I heard my boy Brian Williams give a quick shout out to an asteroid that almost nailed earth the other day.  Good looking out Brian!  But, only a 15 second piece on a near miss?  Yo, what gives!?  One would think an asteroid colliding with Earth would be bigger news, no?  Not even a single mention of how NASA recruited Decent Community to go up in space, drill into the asteroid and blow it up into little pieces, thus, saving everyone on Earth…  Not even a single thank you to Tubesteak for sacrificing his life by staying behind to manually detonate the nuke.  Yo, what gives!?

Decent Collage Update

working-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copy

With thousands of hits per day Decent Collage is getting randy!  We urge people to keep sending in their pictures and getting other people involved in this worldwide collaboration.  Please be patient as we currently have a backlog of photos yet to be added.

Recently added:  A bear riding a horse (say what!?), a creepy sheep from the movie “Black Sheep”, Booger, Buckethead, Buschemi, some crazy dude with short jorts, Danny Glover, Dignan, Zappa, John Daly, Jon Stewart, a monkey eating Uncle Chips, Neil Young, a Pogo Ball, a slipper, Snoop Dogg and Dennis dunes.

To participate keep emailing your pictures to decentcollage@gmail.com

Decent Collage Update

working-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copyworking-collage-copy

Some decent additions last night!  Visit Decent Collage to view the most up to date collage.

The “L” Tetris piece, Richard Pryor, Franzia, Joe Camel, The Ghostbusters crew, “Arnold is Numero Uno”, Lil Wayne and “an asshole in his bathrobe, emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer… “

Pictures can be emailed to decentcommunity@gmail.com

Decent chat with a Decent dude

 

We ventured down to Washington for the historic inauguration and ran into the man himself: Barack Obama. He asked us if we had a lighter (maybe the jibba we were smoking tipped him off) and chatted with us for a few minutes while puffing a ciggie

DC: So what is the most decent thing you want to accomplish in office?

PREZ: Well first off we have to fix the economy. We have to get the American people back to work so they can spend money at nudy clubs.

DC: Are you taking any measures to make higher education more affordable?

PREZ: That’s an excellent question. College is too expensive and more highly intelligent and skilled young people are not attending because of the cost. Every young man in our great country should have the opportunity to go to college, get drunk and get laid.

DC: Speaking of getting laid, does stem-cell research have any benefits between the sheets?

PREZ: Stem-cell research can unlock limitless possibilities in terms of keeping Americans healthy. It holds the key to eliminating STDs so everyone can go to pound town without using rubbers.

DC: Good to know. Say, this is a big moment in world history and it seems all the most important people in the country are here in Washington for your shindig. Aren’t you a little concerned about a terrorist attack?

PREZ: Protecting the lives of Americans is my No. 1 concern, that’s why I’ve hired Jack Bauer, Obi Wan Kenobi, The A-Team and Lawrence Taylor to head security for the day.

With that, Obama thanked us for the torch and headed on his way to becoming the 44th President of the United States of America.

Decent!

Some People Whose Faces I Wouldn’t Mind Pooping On

Here at The Community, we try our hardest to keep things decent. But unfortunately for us decent people, there are some indecent bastards out there who seem to do there damndest to tick people off. Normally, we try to remain chill about others being dicks — but there’s a few people who just take it too far!

In the spirit of an eye for and eye, The Community seeks retribution by pooping on the faces of these villainous bastards. Ideally, we’d like to tie these people up, take a poop on their face, and let them figure out what to do next. Here’s who we’d like to poop on:

  • Osama Bin Laden (and his compadres)Osama and his boys are by far the most deserving of a giant shit on their face! There really is no need to kill, especially on the scale that him and his crew have done it. The dude is the personification of hate and evil, and a good shit to his face would probably suit him nicely.
  • Agent SmithAn extreme hater of humans and everything they stand for, Agent Smith (and all the other Agent Smiths) has come to symbolize blandness, or the man. Devoid of expression, individuality, compassion, perhaps a duker in his grill would shake him out of his machine-driven world.
  • Senator Arlen Specter – This freak made the grave mistake of fronting on Bill Belichick and the Pats organization. It completely boggles my mind how such an ass-hole could become a US senator. Worrying about football games, when he should be worrying about how all of New England is about to shit on his face. He asked for it — big time!
  • Kanye WestThis bastard passed his coolness ceiling awhile ago, tried to make it into the decency area for a short stint (not even close), and now this dude thinks he’s cooler than King Tut! The Community would like to land a huge steamer covering Kanye’s entire face to bring this guy back to earth just a little bit.
  • Terry SilverTerry Silver, inventor of the “Quicksilver” fighting method lived by the mantra, “A man can’t stand/breathe/see, he can’t fight.” Terry is your typical Cobra-Kai dickhead, no regard for anyone except his small fraternity of dojo-mates. He learned the hard way not to fuck with LaRusso, and if that’s not grounds for a mound of shit on his face, I don’t know what is.
  • Bill O’Reilly – This dude drives most of sane world completely insane. The very definition of a blowhard, this freak bastard distorts facts, twists truths, and manipulates stories in such a disgustingly grotesque manner that a big pile of brown waste festering on his mug for a couple hours would probably clear up his warped and congested television persona.

There you have it — a list of some of the lousiest bastards on the loose today. Normally we don’t like to include them in dialogue of decency, but when we talk about them and poop, it’s like two negatives being put together to make a positive. (BTW: Ann Coulter was originally on the list until I read this.) Here’s to hoping all of you remain decent so you don’t find a surprise dump sizzling on your face!