Let’s Get Serious For a Sec

No doubt, The Community is a haven for goofiness. But that doesn’t mean we don’t take some stuff seriously. I mean, we take getting head seriously. We take drinking bronsons seriously. There’s probably a few other things we take seriously, but they’re not coming to me right now.

In all seriousness though — we thought we’d share a pretty serious interview with Eric Schmidt, the CEO of Google. This vid is nearly 40 minutes long, but the content is definitely worthwhile. As in: changing our world, how we live, ethics, energy, and information. Some really big questions are addressed here.

This is probably one of the best things I’ve watched in awhile. Seriously. So instead of watching The Biggest Loser or some other crap show on TV, take a moment to listen and think about how our world is changing.

Decent Monologue

The Lonely Island comedy group temporarily covered the landmark Hollywood sign with the message “Dick in a Box”.  The group hopes to purchase the land to protect it from luxury housing.

On a related note, Vice President Joe “Lightsaber Roni” Biden, left, sparred with his predecessor, Dick “That’s My Name Don’t Wear It Out” Cheney, during talk show appearances Sunday.

Vice President Joe Biden, left, sparred with his predecessor, Dick Cheney, during talk show appearances Sunday.

On March 19th the verbal attacks will take a backseat to a pay-per-view sword fight between the two.  MTV is said to be reproducing the sword fight on its hit show Celebrity Death Match.

A marijuana bust along the U.S. – Mexico border revealed 30 pounds of the drug stuffed into framed pictures of “Jesus Christ” the U.S. Customs and Border Protection agency said Wednesday.  When asked what tipped them off Authorities said the 22 year old woman had thought they were pictures of Jesus Christ but they were actually pictures of Jerry Garcia.  A Dead giveaway.

Rescue teams are trying to save a hiker who fell into Mount St. Helens.  When asked what was the most challenging part of the mission a rescuer responded, “IT’S A VOLCANO!”

DC GIF Caption Contest x3

“Cereal laced with crack.”

Continue reading

Decent Community Monologue

Coroner releases the details about Michael Jackson’s death concluding that Jackson died from “acute propofol intoxication”.  The autopsy also found on Jackson’s palm, clearly written in black ink:  “Fix nose”  “Moonwalk” (crossed out), “Buy new lips”.

An Iranian court has sentenced one person to death and eight others to  prison for their parts in antigovernment demonstrations.  They were convicted of “waging war against God”.  When asked about their death sentence, one man replied:  “At least now I’ll get dragged to my death and not dragged to see Valentine’s Day“.

The Rev. Ricky Kirton, the pastor who performed the marriage of Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren has a message for the troubled couple:  “Forgive each other.  Be there for each other, and it will work out.”  After talking to his pastor Tiger “forgave” his nurse, “was there” for his psychiatrist and “worked it out” all over his waitress.  Tiger then proceeded to call his wife, mother, children, and People magazine, crashing his car into every fire hydrant in Mississippi before totaling his SUV full of sex tapes and cyber sleeves into the town’s oldest willow tree.

On Tuesday President Obama held bipartisan talks on jobs as Nancy Pelosi sat in the background focused on keeping her whiskey farts under wraps.

For more on Nancy Pelosi’s jet-setting, tax payer funded booze extravaganzas click here.

When asked about Obama’s plan, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Kentucky, told reporters “the Senate could get there with a small package.”  And who better than Mitch McConnell to talk about how to get by with a small package.

Hey Mitch, how big’s your dick?

Pequeño

Nine Decent Jeopardy Facts

*I was watching Jeopardy tonight and was thinking about what a great show it is. Here’s some porn for Jeopardy fans courtesy of Neatorama:

1. The original name of the show was What’s the Question? After pitching it to the network brass, Merv Griffin decided to change the name to the catchier one we know today. The reason? One of the execs thought that the game was a great idea, but that the game needed more jeopardies. NBC ended up buying the show without even seeing a pilot.

2. The winner with the smallest amount of earnings at the end of the game managed to triumph over the other two contestants by keeping a mere dollar. On January 19, 1993, Air Force Lt. Col. Daryl Scott cleverly bid just enough to keep him afloat. The other contestants got the question wrong and lost everything. No one else has ever won by keeping a single George Washington. The answer? “His books ‘No Easy Walk to Freedom’ and ‘The Struggle is My Life’ were published during his imprisonment.” The question? “Who is Nelson Mandela.”

3. The infamous Final Jeopardy music has a name – it’s called “Time for Tony” and it was written by Merv Griffin as a lullaby for his son. If you’re familiar with the song, no doubt it’s not much of a lullaby to you – it serves more as a reminder that time is running out and you’d better hurry. It was tweaked a little bit and renamed “Think!” Over the years, Griffin estimated that royalties from the theme song earned him roughly $70 million.

4. The record for the largest one-day total ever belongs to Ken Jennings, of course. He’s the only contestant to surpass $52,000 in one day, and he surpassed it by a landslide with $75,000. Jennings actually holds 11 of the top 15 earnings spots. One of these top 15 spots was actually earned during Jeopardy! Kids Week by a 12-year-old from Virginia named Kunle Demuren, whose knowledge and quick buzzer finger earned him $49,000.

5. Back in the pre-Trebek era when Art Fleming was the host, contestants could start the audition process by just giving the office in New York a call. They would pass preliminary tests over the phone and then set up a date and time to audition in person if the were eligible. Once they made it to the actual office, potential contestants went through a written test and a faux game. These days, the audition process often starts on the Internet during designated testing times. Sometimes a “Brain Bus” also roams the country and tests Ken Jennings-wannabes.

6. In the show’s entire history, a three-way tie has only happened once. It happened fairly recently too – on March 16, 2007, every single contestant ended Final Jeopardy with $16,000. They all returned the following week to play again. You can see it happen here – Alex Trebek seems quite pleased.

7. “I Lost on Jeopardy” was released by Weird Al Yankovic in 1984. Original host Art Fleming has a cameo as himself and original announcer Don Pardo shows up to tell Yankovic all of the fabulous prizes he failed to win. The funny thing is, Weird Al was actually on Rock & Roll Jeopardy and lost to Gary Dell’Abate, better known as Howard Stern’s sidekick Baba Booey.

8. Julann Griffin, Merv’s wife, was integral to the development of the show. She helped him develop the unique answer-and-question format when they were on a plane ride to New York in the early ’60s. From 1964-1975, a piece Julann composed served as the theme to the show. It was called “Take Ten.”

9. If Alex Trebek seems a little condescending when he corrects players with wrong answers, as if he would know the answers himself even without his cheat sheet, well… he just might. Trebek is pretty brainy. Time magazine once asked him if there was an easy question that he ever didn’t know the answer to, and this was Trebek’s response:

We were doing some shows at Radio City Music Hall in New York City, and during the commercial breaks I’d go out and talk to the people in the audience. And a little boy stood up and asked, When was the Magna Carta signed? I said 1216. I was off by a year. I know a lot about the Magna Carta, but unfortunately I got the date wrong in front of 6,000 people.

He admits that he probably wouldn’t do too well if he actually had to participate on the show, though, due to his slow reflexes. Read more of Trebek’s interview with Time.

Decent Site of the Week: Accidental Dong

This week The Community has named Accidental Dong as our decent site of the week. Here’s the description from their website: “It’s happened a million times. You draw an innocent little sketch for a friend or family member, only to realize moments later, ‘Crap. I just drew a Godzilla-like penis in front of Grandma.’ Well my faux phallic friends, this blog is the home for all those wayward wangs out there.”

Accidental Dong has all sorts of pseudo dicks — some more noticeable than others. Seriously, how many times in your life have you thought, “Bro! Fuckin A! That looks just like a shlong!” This website offers a decent collection of such instances.

Who is the Chillest Member of Phish?

Bro. Why do questions have to be so difficult? I’m trying to figure this shit out, but it’s kinda insane. This whole question, ya know? I’ve been sitting here for the past three hours going back and forth in my head. Page is fuckin chill, ya know? But Mike is mellow as shit too! The way he just stands there and bobs his head sometimes? That’s laid back. I bet it would be really chill to chill with Trey. And Fishman, man, that dude probably just lets it his shit flow — which I think is pretty chill.

Fuck man, I guess if I gotta say, it’s Page. Ya know, cause he’s just fuckin chill, bro. What do you guys think?