Decent Community Reviews Bugles

The folks over at General Mills got it right when they decided to make Bugles. I tell ya, those guys are professionals over there (as evidenced by their making of this fine corn chip). Why can’t anybody else make a snack like this nowadays?

The aesthetics, the taste, and the multi-functionality. They look like a rounded pyramid. Or better yet — a wizard’s hat! I tell ya, those Bugle makers know what they’re doin. Perfect blend of salt and corn. Don’t even get me started on their shape and texture. You know their name comes from their shape? That’s genius I tell ya!

Bugles make decent sex toys because they fit in many holes, and they get wider the further they go in. You can stick them on tips of your fingers and pretend you’re Freddy Krueger too! Babies can use them as condoms and if you bite a little piece off the top, you can use them as a “tooter” to do blow. Personally, I just like to eat the suckers because they go great with bronsons!

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A Decent Fall Outfit

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Undoubtedly Urban Outfitters give me a boner and the outfits they supply are straight up horn-inducing.  Unlike Tube, however, I don’t have such a singular allegiance to one (albeit very high quality) establishment.

I’ve scoured the net, gone through all my fall catalogs and have walked up and down the trendiest streets in the trendiest cities and have finally found my perfect Fall outfit!

I call it, Fall is in The Air.  An outfit by Helmet Head.

Fall is in the Air.  An Outfit by Helmet Head.

Shoes —  Birkenstocks.  It doesn’t matter if you’re heading out for a picnic with a group of good buddies, into the office for an important meeting or heading back to prep school for the Fall semester a good mandal keeps your feet comfortable all day long.

Birkenstocks

Socks — Wool Socks.  Three words:  Durability, durability, durability.  Nothing says I don’t give a fuck! like a thick pair of wool socks.

wool-socks

Underwear — Smiley Face Joe Boxer.  The fit is comfortable, without being constrictive.  Exclusivley sold at Kmart and Sears… Need I say more.

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Belt — White Guns N Roses Belt.  Take me down to Paradise City, indeed!

Guns_N_Roses_White_Rose_Belt1

Pants — Skinny Jeans.  I know, I know, old news Helmet skinny jeans have been in for months.  Well fuck you!  I like them and that’s that.  Plus they look slammin with my choice of shirt.

skinny_jeans_men

Shirt — LL Bean’s Mock-Turtleneck.  A shirt needs to scream fuck me without screaming fuck you, and that’s why I’ve gone with a simple fall classic.  Burley, Black Spruce, Timber or Navy women can’t resist The Mock.

Mock

Hat — Zephyr Boston Bruins Rink Fleece Helmet.  Be stylish, warm and show your allegiance to your favorite winter sport team and promote safety with this ultra-cool fleece helmet.

Bruins Hat

This advice is DECENT COMMUNITY GUARANTEED.  You have our word.  These items are guaranteed to give 100% satisfaction in every way.

Urban Outfitters Runs My Life (Obviously!)

The most decent place to buy your threads is Urban Outfitters. I mean, come on. Who are we kidding here? It’s not even funny. There isn’t a more hip place to “get shit done” and “make shit happen.” That’s what everyone says about Urban Outfitters — and I agree with them.

If you’re seen there, it means you’re gauranteed to hookup with someone that night. If you buy clothes from there, it also means you’re gauranteed to hookup with someone that night. The best Urban Outfitters is in New York City. Obviously.

If I could, I’d live in an Urban Outfitters. That way, I’d have as many track jackets, trucker hats, and vintage/retro/kitschy shit as possible. People would say, “Man, where do you get all your cool gear?” And I’d say, “Dude, back off. Chill. I live at Urban Outfitters.”

While the idea is far out there, I do pretty much live at Urban Outfitters. I spend, like, all my free time there and I know all the workers’ names. Eric is fuckin sweet and that chick Zoe is bad-ass. We hang out all the time when I go to their store.

All other stores try to be Urban Outfitters, but they’re just wack. It’s like, “Nice try, bunk store! You’re never gonna be Urban Outfitters!” It’s like showing up to a party you weren’t invited to, and when you get there everyone is like, “Ew, get away loser!” I love Urban Outfitters so much and it’s so cool. Look for me next time you’re there. I’m the dude with the sick trucker hat and the tight track jacket. Later!

Decent Community Reviews Chocolate Tooth

poopthoth

Chocolate tooth or poo poo tooth (also see:  cucka tooth, poop tooth, crap tooth, shit tooth, funk tooth, bum tooth) occurs when chocolate is smeared on the front of one’s tooth; usually as a result of eating something chocolate (obviously) and moist.  Moistness leads to certain adhesion to one’s tooth creating an illusion that one’s tooth is covered in poo poo.  The chocolate covered tooth is an embarrassing occurrence.  Ninety percent of the time, the chocolate will remain on your tooth for two hours and/or approximately 10/15 views before someone notifies you.  Leading causes of chocolate tooth include:  Moist brownies, chunks of chocolate at the bottom of your hot coco, silk chocolate pudding, slick chocolate covered strawberries and the new chocolate covered Altoids.  If you feel your lip catching your tooth when smiling and you have recently ate chocolate, chances are you are victim of chocolate tooth.  Head for refuge immediately to limit embarrassment.  There’s one decent thing about chocolate tooth and that’s realizing that you have a little bit of your sweet snack left!