Decent Monologue

The Lonely Island comedy group temporarily covered the landmark Hollywood sign with the message “Dick in a Box”.  The group hopes to purchase the land to protect it from luxury housing.

On a related note, Vice President Joe “Lightsaber Roni” Biden, left, sparred with his predecessor, Dick “That’s My Name Don’t Wear It Out” Cheney, during talk show appearances Sunday.

Vice President Joe Biden, left, sparred with his predecessor, Dick Cheney, during talk show appearances Sunday.

On March 19th the verbal attacks will take a backseat to a pay-per-view sword fight between the two.  MTV is said to be reproducing the sword fight on its hit show Celebrity Death Match.

A marijuana bust along the U.S. – Mexico border revealed 30 pounds of the drug stuffed into framed pictures of “Jesus Christ” the U.S. Customs and Border Protection agency said Wednesday.  When asked what tipped them off Authorities said the 22 year old woman had thought they were pictures of Jesus Christ but they were actually pictures of Jerry Garcia.  A Dead giveaway.

Rescue teams are trying to save a hiker who fell into Mount St. Helens.  When asked what was the most challenging part of the mission a rescuer responded, “IT’S A VOLCANO!”

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DC GIF Caption Contest x3

“Cereal laced with crack.”

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Decent Site of the Week: I’m So Bad At Sex.com

This week’s decent site of the week offers some embarrassing stories from the boning scene. I’m So Bad At Sex features anonymous bastards who send in some wacky shit detailing hilarious sexual escapades. Of course, some tales are better than others — but after reading I’m So Bad At Sex, we all feel like we’re masters at doing the wild thing. Here’s a sample:

“I’m generally pretty bad at sex. However, my most recent experience has lead me to quit having sex all together. I was having sex with a girl who had at least 40 pounds on me. I somehow mounted her and was humping away. Then I received a whisper in my ear “Stop, please just stop”. I had been having sex with her belly fat, and had already came. I’m so bad at sex.”

Decent Community Monologue

Coroner releases the details about Michael Jackson’s death concluding that Jackson died from “acute propofol intoxication”.  The autopsy also found on Jackson’s palm, clearly written in black ink:  “Fix nose”  “Moonwalk” (crossed out), “Buy new lips”.

An Iranian court has sentenced one person to death and eight others to  prison for their parts in antigovernment demonstrations.  They were convicted of “waging war against God”.  When asked about their death sentence, one man replied:  “At least now I’ll get dragged to my death and not dragged to see Valentine’s Day“.

The Rev. Ricky Kirton, the pastor who performed the marriage of Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren has a message for the troubled couple:  “Forgive each other.  Be there for each other, and it will work out.”  After talking to his pastor Tiger “forgave” his nurse, “was there” for his psychiatrist and “worked it out” all over his waitress.  Tiger then proceeded to call his wife, mother, children, and People magazine, crashing his car into every fire hydrant in Mississippi before totaling his SUV full of sex tapes and cyber sleeves into the town’s oldest willow tree.

On Tuesday President Obama held bipartisan talks on jobs as Nancy Pelosi sat in the background focused on keeping her whiskey farts under wraps.

For more on Nancy Pelosi’s jet-setting, tax payer funded booze extravaganzas click here.

When asked about Obama’s plan, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, R-Kentucky, told reporters “the Senate could get there with a small package.”  And who better than Mitch McConnell to talk about how to get by with a small package.

Hey Mitch, how big’s your dick?

Pequeño

Decent Site of the Week: Accidental Dong

This week The Community has named Accidental Dong as our decent site of the week. Here’s the description from their website: “It’s happened a million times. You draw an innocent little sketch for a friend or family member, only to realize moments later, ‘Crap. I just drew a Godzilla-like penis in front of Grandma.’ Well my faux phallic friends, this blog is the home for all those wayward wangs out there.”

Accidental Dong has all sorts of pseudo dicks — some more noticeable than others. Seriously, how many times in your life have you thought, “Bro! Fuckin A! That looks just like a shlong!” This website offers a decent collection of such instances.

Decent Site of the Week: Selleck Waterfall Sandwich

This week Decent Community thought we’d alert our readers about a new website dedicated to three of our favorite things: Tom Selleck, waterfalls, and sandwiches. So basic in its premise, Selleck Waterfall Sandwich simply presents images that combine Selleck, waterfalls, and sandwiches in all their glory.

Each picture contains a new sandwich, a new look at Selleck, and a new waterfall. I guess there’s only so many ways to describe this — but Selleck Waterfall Sandwich is definitely a decent idea. I’m actually a little embarassed we didn’t think of it first.

Decent Site of the Week: Look at this Fucking Hipster.com

Word to your mutha. This week’s Decent Site of the Week profiles bastards who sport jeans/spandex, ironic shirts, nerd glasses, fucked up hair, and slug PBRs. Of course, we’re talking about hipsters — and these faux-trendy scenesters are on full display at LookAtThisFuckingHipster.com (abbreviated latfh.com).

Total freak show going on at this site, and at times these hipsters can be scary. But LookAtThisFuckingHipster.com definitely packs in the indies and emos. If nothing else, it features a comprehensive catalogue of people you could definitely beat up. Check it out.