Summer Vacation Notice

Hello Community! I’d like to give notice to our readers that I, Tubesteak, will be taking a decent summer sabbatical over the next few weeks or so. This is not to say I won’t be writing about decency within The Community, but postings will definitely be less frequent. Indeed, summer is finally here.

Among the endeavors I’ll be pursuing in place of writing here:

This is not intended to be a full-fledged hiatus. Who knows — perhaps I’ll miss The Community too much and be back sooner than planned. But ideally I’ll fire up some fun shit once in a while for all your asses while Fugaze and Helmet Head keep this operation afloat. You can rest assured Community — this sabbatical will be strictly focused on practicing decency.

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Decent Community’s Summer Reading List

Ah yes, the joys of summer reading. Waves gently crashing in the background, blue skies, and fruity cocktails. Decent Community would like to present our summer reading list for 2009. As you probably have gathered, we’re odd birds, so we’ve got an unconventional list of ten must-read books. Click on the link below to view our complete docket of titles. Please enjoy…

 

 

1. The Big Book of Lesbian Horse Stories depicts forbidden same-sex love and all its titillating temptation. Eight stories are set in different periods of history, from the Stonewall Riots to Dustbowl Depression. Each involves a girl, a horse and womanly attraction.

 

 

 

 

2. If you have ever wondered what action to take to keep clear of a fast moving ship, this book will remove the doubt. Author is a Master Mariner and Deep Sea Towing Master, Licensed Panama Canal Pilot and Active Washington State Pilot.

 

 

 

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Fabio Is Our Decent Bastard of the Week

As the saying goes: “Men of genius are admired, men of wealth are envied, men of beauty are sought after, men of power are feared; but only Fabio is all of these things.” Make no mistake — Fabio is the most beautifully sculpted hunk of meat that civilization has ever known, and it’s with unabashed pride that we crown him as Decent Community’s Decent Bastard of the Week.

What is success? Success is Fabio. The hair, the pectorals, the unrelenting glare, the sponsorship from I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter, even the rumored homosexual fling with David Hasselhoff — Fabio is a God walking this magical earth, a ravishing Adonis to be stared at, and stared at, and stared at some more.

Here’s a paraphrased nomination email, which The Community received from over one million hot chicks:

“I wanna lick Fabio. I’d gladly live homeless if Fabio would slay me just once. I’d give up my two children if Fabio would write me a letter. I’m in heat and I want Fabio. Every time I go to the supermarket, I fantasize of Fabio kissing me passionately on top of the packaged meat section. Fabio has such a deep voice.”

That’s just a sampling of the emails we received. But hey, Fabio is a stunner! A human turn-on who lives by the laws of passion and romance, Decent Bastard Fabio is horseback riding on the beach even when he’s not. He’s doing a perfect swan dive off a 15-foot secluded waterfall. Perhaps he’s even taking a knee, wearing tattered shreds, sword by his side, gazing off into the distance, thinking about how decent he is. Well Fabio, we couldn’t agree with you more!!

DC Short Jam: The Deceptive Rogue

Motives and actions can be ambiguous — and even more dubious when they don’t correlate with one another. An apparent con artist may be seeking life’s simple comforts — yet observers can easily be thrown off by what they witness on the surface.

With that preface, The Community presents the fifth rendering of our DC Short Jam Series — The Deceptive Rogue. This film scrutinizes the existence of a decent man living an undercover lifestyle. Even though he remains mostly incognito, his wants and needs — and in the end, his virtues — mirror those of The Community.

**We were fortunate to secure a professional actor for this role and as you’ll see, he knocked this one out of the park. If he doesn’t win Best Actor, it’ll be the biggest snub in the history of cinema!**

Decent Links of the Week

The Community thought we’d provide you with some decent links to check out this weekend while you’re packing a double horseshoe.

  • The chillest birthday candles known to man.
  • An interesting blurb about a truly underground cinema in Paris. The Community is thinking of creating something like this in Beantown.
  • If you think your life is hurt up, check out these funny scenarios from people around the world.
  • A weird site that shows you how to make different kinds of drugs. A bit sketchy if you asked me — but worth a look.
  • I love this name tag. Not sure you’ve seen it before, but you’ve definitely heard it in a movie.
  • The Communtiy is a big fan of vanity license plates, but we’re not fans of having a plate denied for no reason. This decent letter suggests displeasure with biting humor.
  • Here’s an account that’ll rid you of preconceived notions about working on an herb farm.
  • Check out this very informative video that does a great job of breaking down how we got into our current economic crisis.
  • If you’re looking to score a babe, this site offers hundreds upon hundreds of user generated pick-up lines.
  • Had to post this — The Last Lecture from Randy Pausch (which is also now a best selling book). This presents a dude who is dying of cancer, but epitomizing decency. Warning: it’s a little over an hour long, but the lessons this dude bestows make it time very well spent!

Friday Ramblings

Cindy Crawford in the pages of Sports Illustrated

Saddening news out of Providence and SouthCoast, Massachusetts, as longtime decent weatherman John Ghiorse announced his retirement recently. He is best known for his “Ghiorse Factor” where he rates the day’s weather on a scale of 0-10, taking into account the season. Feb. 27 will be his last broadcast on WJAR-10. All of us at Decent Community wish Ghiorse, 69, a happy retirement and pledge to keep the Ghiorse Factor alive for generations to come. …  Tonight is the last episode of “Late Night with Conan O’Brien” as the decently funny former writer is slated to take over the Tonight Show on June 1, moving to the 11:30 E.S.T. time slot. Conan has been a big hit for NBC and has been extremely funny to watch late night. Unclear what changes will be happening to the show once he goes on at 11:30 and moves from New York to L.A., I hope we still get to see Triumph the Insult Comic Dog, the Masturbating Bear and “In the Year 2000.” … Happy 45th birthday to Cindy Crawford. Her boobs were awesome in the movie “Fair Game.” … Hunter S. Thompson passed away four years ago today. Most widely known for “Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas,” try grabbing a copy of the “Rum Diary,” about his early years working for a newspaper in Puerto Rico. Good read. … I recently sprang for four new tires for my 2006 Chevy Impala. I’ve never had four brand-new tires on any car before, and let me tell you, I fell like I could finish in the top 20 in a NASCAR race with steering so tight. … Glad to see Tully Banta-Cain back with the Pats. He was always decent on special teams and has a cool last name. New England should draft defense in April’s NFL Draft. Early mock drafts have them taking a linebacker, but I think both safety and corner are bigger priorities. … This week’s sign of why I hate rich corporate overlord dbags: Merrill Lynch, beneficiary of some government bailout and stimulus cash, gave bonuses of $1 million or more to 700 employees last year yet managed to finish $27 billion in the red. … Funny story out of Europe: Irish cops prove they’re way dumber than Polish people who can’t follow the rules of the road. … Coming soon on Decent Community: Who’s the big musical act playing the Madeira Feast this year, the downlow on our Phish Ticket Giveaway, and a special summer-long project following the most decent slowpitch softball team, the Isotopes.

Mom selling Octuplets’ naming rights

Nadya Suleman

Nadya Suleman

 WHITTIER, Calif — Want to name one of Nadya Suleman’s famous octuplets? You can, for the right price.

Ms. Suleman announced early Friday morning that she will auction off the rights to name her eight newborns.

“Diapers ain’t cheap. Baby food ain’t cheap. Day care ain’t cheap. College ain’t cheap,” Ms. Suleman said. “These babies will be financially secure for the rest of their lives. And I’ll be loaded.”

One of Ms. Suleman’s newly hired publicists outlined a plan to purchase the rights. All right names will be auctioned off on the Internet. Ms. Suleman’s publicist said the opening bid for a child will be $1 million, but anticipated the number will grow much higher.

“We’ve already had inquiries from corporations seeking an outstanding advertising opportunity. Google, Microsoft, Exxon-Mobil and GoldenPalaceCasino.com have already showed interest,” the publicist said.

David Jurshvich, an expert on greedy parents with the American Institute of Sociology and Behavior Sciences, told Decent Community that, “this is the worst I’ve ever imagined.”

An irate dude protests outside Nadya Suleman's mother's house in Southern California.

An irate dude protests outside Nadya Suleman's mother's house in Southern California.

What if some really rich guy wants to name one of the kids NeedleDick?” Mr. Jurshvich asked. “(Ms. Suleman) is clearly the worst human being ever created.”

Economist Frank Peshbity speculated the bidding could reach the hundreds of millions.

“This is really a unique advertising opportunity. These babies will be in the national spotlight for years,” said Mr. Peshbity, who sat on the board at Colombia University before becoming a partner in the Wall Street investment house Dalton, Peshbity and Johnson, P.I.Y. “There is no telling how much these corporations, especially the ones who received billions from President Bush’s Financial Bailout package, will spend.”

Ms. Suleman, a 33-year-old single mother with 14 total children who lives with her mother and collected more than $165,000 in government disability checks between 2002-2008 while giving birth to child after child, has inked deals with two publishers for a series of parenting books and a monthly magazine. And, according to her publicist, is working on a multi-million dollar reality TV show deal with TLC. A line of baby clothes and healthy organic foods are also being proposed.