Black Friday Sales At The Decent Community Store

Avoid crazy crowds on Black Friday by ordering goods online from the Decent Community store.

Friday is the day for deals, sales and bargains across the country. You name it, it’s on sale for at least 20 percent off. It is dubbed “Black Friday” because retailers usually sell so much stuff they make a profit, or get in the black, on that day for the entire year. Not bad.

Well Decent Community has had an awesome year and we don’t need the day after Thanksgiving to make a profit for the year. That’s right, we’re rolling in decent dough over here. Why do you care if Helmet Head, Tubesteak and I are loaded with lettuce? Because we can offer discounts of up to 80 percent on our most popular items from the Decent Community store and not have to worry about losing cash this year.

These deals are only valid on Black Friday, so get your decent gifts while you can. Plus, it’s safer to stay home and order online, especially seeing some Wal-Mart worker was killed last year by a stampeed of irate Black Friday shoppers. Anyway, here are four of our best items that are sure to sell out quick. All make great presents for the decent fan on your Christmas list. Think the Decent Community store should add a new item? Drop us a line at DecentCommunity@gmail.com or leave a comment.

Autographed original copy of “Woman Dies After Using Jackhammer as Dildo
Regular price: $99.99
Black Friday price: $59.99 (40% off)
This is the top seller at the Decent Community store, and for good reason. Tubesteak’s investigative reporting uncovered this story that led to an Internet sensation, drawing more than 179 comments (most are hysterical) and generating more than 567,000 hits alone. This is a collector’s item that experts say will only increase in value as time passes.

Unedited copy of Helmet Head and his Horselover‘s homemade porno
Regular price: $19.99
Black Friday price: $4.99 (75% off)
Surprisingly, this is one of the worst sellers at the Community store. Apparently, not even the ladies want to see Helmet and his former horse lover doing the nasty. Only one copy has been sold so far and that was to Bryan Welch, an employee at the Boston-based Michael’s Moving Co. He must have a thing for animal porn or something.

Full-length Decent Collage poster
Regular price: $199.99
Black Friday price: $99.00 (50% off)
One of our most popular items is this 9-foot-by-9-foot, full color poster of the entire Decent Collage. Yes, for just under $100 you can have the likenesses of Hulk Hogan, Chuck Norris, Tecmo Superbowl, the Mona Lisa, a BLT, Mike and Ikes, Alex Trabek and more displayed on your wall.

Limited edition preview issue of The Isotopes Times
Regular price: $39.99
Black Friday price: $9.99 (75% off)
This is the collector’s item to end all collector’s item. With the Isotopes no longer playing softball, this remains the last edition of The Isotopes Times. On Friday, you can have one of a handful of prints, autographed by all your favorite players, including coach Jon Darling, power hitter Yim, drunk pitcher Matt Biltcliffe, businessman Pat Long and the rocket-armed Dave Gags. Editor’s Note: For a very limited time, Decent Community is offering signed copies of all three preview issues of The Isotopes Times dating back to the 2007 season. These once-in-a-lifetime collectibles are available by acution only. E-mail DecentCommunity@gmail.com for auction information.

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One Response

  1. I’m no math whiz but that porno looks like it’s more expensive on BF.

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