Tales From The Handicap Bathroom

restroom-signs-man-woman-handicap

dear decent community,

you ever use one of those ‘low flush’ toilets where there isn’t much water in the toilet?  well we’ve got one here at work in the crapper i use and i dropped a BOMB this morning, not solid, but not rhea, i wiped a bunch of times to get the remnants from my bung and got up to flush… there was a shitpile bigger than a softball sitting on the porcelain just above the water line with most of the TP falling to the side of it… i promptly gagged and flushed… the water grabbed the still dry paper and pulled that down, but didn’t get the shit, it just slid it down toward the hole, the dry paper clogged the toilet and left the shit pile sitting alone in the hole of the bowl with almost no water… this is the handicap bathroom in our office that a TON of people use because it is the only place you can go in and lock the door and have your own bathroom to yourself (a one seater if you will) and it is in a high foot traffic area (3 ppl turdburgled me while i was taking this dump) so i was face with either grabbing the plunger and basically pushing my shit down the hole, or trying to get out of there without anyone seeing me flee the scene.  I chose the plunger.  I got to the point where most of the shit was pressed down into the hole, but there was so little water in the bowl i couldn’t get good suction seal w/the plunger and was splashing poopy water all over the place.  I pulled the plunger out and flushed again… nothing… but water did fill the bowl so i got a better plunge – i flushed again and everything went down, BUT 2 things were absolutely wrong about the end result, #1 it looked like someone took a brown paintbrush to the toilet and #2 there was a piece of walnut on the side of the plunger and (to my knowledge) is still there sitting behind the toilet… i feel like i can still smell the poo stink on me.

regards,

jordache

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