Comcast To Introduce Negative Channel Numbers

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Comcast believes negative numbers will help revive the company's reputation.

Reuters — Comcast, the No. 1 U.S. cable operator, plans to unveil negative numbers into their cable listings in order to address impending complications to their sevice, as well as customer confidence shortfalls.

Struggling with mounting customer dissatisfaction and an increasing number of channels, the head of Comast’s cable arm, Byron Logdini, announced on Monday the planned switch to take place in January 2010.

“Number one, we’re running out of channel numbers, and our boxes won’t display numbers over 999,” said Logdini. “To go along with that, we feel this may be a fun development for those who fear we’ve essentially become an automated media conglomerate. We have a creative side.”

When asked to further explain, Logdini quipped, “Let’s put it this way: negative customer satisfaction and negative channel listings will result in a postitive.”

Logdini credited Comcast’s Creative Director Marsha Aaronson with concepting the idea, which they hope “will salvage their reputation as an uninspired money-hoarding monopoly.”

“By offering negative-numbered channels, Comcast is proving we’re capable of thinking outside the box,” said Ms. Aaronson. “It’s a statement embodying creative problem-solving. It says, ‘we’ll address customer needs in imaginative ways.’ Our customers will begin to see us in a more positive light — which is ironic seeing how we’re introducing negative channel listings.”

The company’s representatives detailed the specifics of their ‘negative’ campaign, which will be outlined in mailings to customers in the upcoming months. All cable boxes are capable of adding a negative dash to their box display. There will be no channel zero and their On-Demand services will remain at channel one.

It’s still unclear which channels will be designated with negative channel listings, however many industry speculators have suggested that inferior channels such as MTV, Country Music Television, Fox News, The WB, Lifetime, and the Speed Channel should receive strong consideration for the negative classification.

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