Andy Bernard is Our Decent Bastard of the Week

With the return of The Office for the fall season, The Community felt it pertinent to honor one of our favorite characters, Andy “The Nard Dog” Bernard as our Decent Bastard of the Week. Played by the venerable Ed Helms, The Nard Dog is a walking hilarity. Always well-intentioned, a tad pompous, and possessing an arsenal of biographical buffoonery, Andy Bernard is and out-and-out scene stealer — a solid gold decent bastard!

Why do we love him? Because we admire his style. Namely, his love for partying, his back-rubbing skills, his fondness for tossing the disc, his ability to dish out decent nicknames, his affinity for pig latin, his passion for music (both singing and jamming on the banjo), his fancy for inner-tubing, and his unbelievable fashion sense. Nard Dog says things like this:

“I forgot to tell you the plan for this Saturday. You, me, bar, beers, buzzed. Wings, shots, drunk! Waitresses – hot! Football, Cornell-Hofstra, slaughter! Then quick nap at my place, then we hit the tizzown.”

Sounds decent, huh? Well, Andy Bernard also has nice rides — a Nissan Xterra (“rugged yet luxurious”) and a Toyota Prius. He once shot an 80-lb shark off Montauk with a rifle, and even worked for Abercrombie and Fitch as a travelling salesman. We can’t mention The Nard Dog without noting his Ivy League pedigree (Cornell, obviously), and his well-heeled WASPY lineage, which “goes all the way back to Moses”.

Of course, no man is without faults — and The Nard Dog is no exception. He does have anger management problems and poor taste in ladies (Angela). Andy could get laid a little more too. But these are essentially humanizing aspects of his makeup. Because if he didn’t have anger issues and got laid non-stop, The Nard Dog’s character would be unbelievable in his greatness. Instead, he’s straight decent — a remarkable bastard from a 360 degree vantage.


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