Sam Malone is Our Decent Bastard of the Week

Sam “Mayday” Malone — the epitome of a decent bastard! He was a former Sox pitcher with a nasty slider who owned one of the most renowned bars in history. Being a recovering alcoholic, he still ran Cheers successfully amidst a slew of hard slugging, all-time characters. But more so than anything else, Malone was a legitimate Don Juan — a borderline sex addict — who charmed any and all ladies in the vicinity despite their best efforts to keep his seductive persona at bay.

Make no mistake — Sam Malone was a man’s man, living the dream all dick-owners aspire to. His bar patrons lived vicariously through him and his unprecedented string of female conquests. A seasoned joke teller and a champion ball-buster, this local Boston guy could very well have written the Decent Community Handbook. A DC reader writes in:

“Sam Malone carried a bar, a television show, and most of the male population’s hopes and dreams on his back from 1982 to 1993. (Not to mention all the babes he carried on his johnson!) I was astonished he hadn’t been featured as your Decent Bastard of Week. However, I’m more than confident that after receiving this nomination, he’ll be spotlighted before the Community within minutes.”

I received the email above about 15 minutes ago, and after about five minutes of slamming my head into the wall, I got this post right up. Raise a glass to Sam Malone — a bastard who tagged prudes like Diane Chambers and Rebecca Howe, who pitched five years for the Boston Red Sox, and who was cooler than just about any dude you’ve ever known.

Check Out Some Decent Videos

The Community thought it would be a decent move to start posting more videos of random goods we think our readers may get a kick out of. So we added this new little “thingy” to the right that will feature a steady a rotation of heady/interesting/funny clips.

Check ’em out if you’re bored, and please feel free to send over a link to a vid you think others may enjoy. We’re trying to ramp up this up this Decent website — but it will only go as far as our Community wants us to go. So please be in touch with us — DecentCommunity@gmail.com — and share in the decency.

Decent Website of the Week: Omegle.com

Alright, The Community has been alerted to a decent little website called Omegle.com. Here’s how it works: there’s thousands of people who go on the site, and you get randomly paired with someone for a one-on-one chat. It’s totally anonymous, you don’t sign up for anything. It’s just “You” and some dude named “Stranger.”

We’ve been messing around with it for the past ten minutes. It’s surprising how difficult it is to start up a decent conversation. But that’s also part of the fun of it. Other perks for Omegle.com is that you can get transcripts of your memorable exchanges, you can fuck with peoples’ heads, and you can check out how scary-weird people pass their time.

The Famous of the Famous

The passing of Michael Jackson last week sparked some conversation as to how famous he was. A colleague of mine, Coodz, went ahead and compiled this list of the Most Famous People of the Last 100 Years. It’s about pure famousness and name recognition, for good or bad, and just being big time in America won’t cut it. Here’s what he came up with, in no particular order:

Winston Churchhill, Adolf Hitler, Bill Clinton, Michael Jordan, Frank Sinatra, Mother Teresa, Bill Gates, Pablo Picasso, Charlie Chaplin, Babe Ruth, Muhammad Ali, Pope JP II, Charles Lindbergh, Joseph Stalin, Ernest Hemingway, Douglas Fairbanks, Mao Tse Tung, Mahatma Gandhi, Bob Marley, Albert Einstein, Leonard Bernstein, The Dalai Lama, FDR, Obama, Dwight Eisenhower, Haile Selassie, Gary Cooper, Cary Grant, Bob Hope, Grace Kelly, Madonna, Elvis, Charles DeGaulle, Pele, Albert  Schweitzer, John Wayne, Martin Luther King, Paul McCartney, Michael Jackson, Stephen King, Princess Di, Queen Elizabeth, Tiger Woods and Bill Cosby.

Now I think John Lennon, Jonny Carson and Walt Disney should be included and maybe even Arnold Schwarzenegger, Steve Jobs and Tubesteak (just kidding). What do you think? Leave a comment on who should stay, who should go or who should join this decent party of famous people.

Decent Tribute to Michael Jackson

Dear Michael Jackson,

You were one of the top-five Most Famous People of all time. Your music, your tunes, your sound and your performances were the stuff of legends. You were awesome in that 3-D Captain EO show at Epcot. You own 13 Grammy awards. You’ve sold  more than 50 million copies of “Thriller.” You have a higher Q Score than Barack Obama.

You became a wierd dude. Your skin got kinda white. Your nose looks wierd. You admitted you like to have young boys sleep in your bed. You settled a lawsuit alleging you molested a 13-year-old. You named your kid Prince Michael II.

You won some. You lost some. You made money. You lost money. You had fun. You ruined lives. You inspired people. You ruined people. You boned Elvis’ daughter.

Rest in Peace,
Decent Community

PS: Hope you don’t mind this selection of some of the best Michael Jackson jokes. After all, take solace in the thought that you’ve made countless people laugh for many moons.

Q: How did Michael Jackson get food poisoning?
A: He ate a nine-year-old wiener.

Q: Why does Michael Jackson wear a pair of boys’ underwear on his arm?
A: It’s a patch — he’s trying to quit.

Q: Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz-2-Men?
A: He thought it was a delivery service.

Q: What has 18 balls and 3 public hairs?
A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.

Q: What’s brown and often found in a baby’s diaper?
A: Michael Jackson’s hand.

Check out this site for hundreds more MJ jokes.

Decent Caption Contest Double Dip

shitload of cokeNot exactly the “shitload of coke” I had in mind.

 

poof daddyWhat da puff?

Thursday Ramblings

A new scum meter is needed to measure how much of an asshole South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford is. He vanished from his wife and four kids last week, at first saying he had been hiking before coming clean and admitting he flew to South America to bone a chick he had been having an affair with. Great way to spend Father’s Day d-bag, keeping your four kids wondering where you are while you’re hitting Argentenian ass. … I’ve commonly speculated that big companies are using the recession as an excuse to lay-off big numbers to increase profits without public backlash. That’s exactly what Texas Rangers owner Tom Hicks did recently when, despite an 11 percent increase in ticket sales over last year, layed-off almost 10 percent of team employees. … Bet you can’t guess who Toyota Motor Co. picked as its new President and chief white collar toughguy? Akio Toyoda, no joke. … Amusing story out of Placer County, a quiet place outside Sacramento, Calif. The deer population is blowing up (cars hitting dear has increased 10-fold), and to resolve it, the county may issue hunting tags for shotguns and bows to 25 extra hunters this season, as long as they’re between 12 and 17 years old!. … Happy 37th birthday to former Red Sox enemy Carlos Delgado. I used to hate watching him hit bombs off the Sox in the Skydome. He was the only guy on those crappy Blue Jays teams who posed any offensive threat. His best season was 2000, when he hit .344 (64 points above his career average — steroids?) with 41 homers and 137 RBIs. … Happy 44th birthday to Dikembe Mutombo, a vicious shot-blocker who named an All-Star eight times. Did you know Mutombo speaks French, Spanish and Portuguese? Decent! Of note: He was the 4th pick in the 1991 Maja Latinovic Shows Her Nice Tits On The StageDraft (Grandmama Larry Johnson went No. 1), the same year the Celtics selected slick Rick Fox at No. 24. … The best-looking chica to celebrate a birthday today? That would be Serbian model Maja Latinovic, who hits the big 30 today. … “The Isotopes got rained out three times this week. Damn Mother Nature,” coach Jon Darling wrote recently in an e-mail to Decent Community. “We’ll be back in action Tuesday with a double-header at Cushman Park in Fairhaven against KMP and the Wrecking Crew.”