Thursday Ramblings

I’m not scared of swine flu, and I will never wear one of those ridiculous surgical masks like the guys on ER. … So longtime U.S. Senator Arlen Specter (R-Pa.) switched parties this week, deciding to jump on the Obama-led Democratic bandwagon. Screw Specter, who wasted government time looking into the Patriots Spygate issue and is now becoming a Dem just because he realizes he can’t win another Republican primary in Pa. I didn’t know you could switch parties just because you can’t win an election … So the Patriots didn’t do anything I had predicted in the NFL Draft last week, but they still had a great weekend. They picked up two extra second-round picks next year and boosted the secondary with Oregon safety Patrick Chung (Rodney Harrison’s replacement) and Connecticut cornerback Darius Butler. Tackle Sebastian Vollmer (6-7, 312 lbs.)  is the perfect project (Pats O-Line coach Dante Scarneccia will whip him into a solid player) and B.C. defensive takcle Ron Brace (6-3, 330lbs.) adds depth along the D-Line. … I always love calling out shitty sports announcers, and the MLB Netowrk took the cake this week. Matt Vasgersian, who fills in for Hazel Mae on the newtork’s nightly baseball highlights show, asked to see a replay of Brad Hawpe getting injured because he thought one of the security guards looked like Donovan McNabb. “I’m getting a message in my ear that we are still live,” he said as the producer reminded him not to be a dipshit into his earpiece. Maybe the producer should remind him again, because earlier this year he was caught swearing on a live broadcast. … Not only are the drug wars crippling Mexico, but now swine flu bursts in and sickens thousands. Mexico is on a destructive path back to third-world status. … Happy 27th birthday Kirsten Dunst, best known for her role as the whiney Mary Jane in the “Spider-Man” trilogy. Good luck guys, Dunst remains single today and has not been in a long-term relationship for a long time. She did bang Jake Gyllenhaal, though. … Happy 24th birthday to Ashley Dupre, dubbed “the most famous hooker in America” for her escort visits to former New York Gov. Elliot Spitzer. Although her 5 seconds of fame are up, some estimate she made as much as $1.4 million when her single “What We Want” blew up on the Internet when she was all over the news with the Spitzer thing. … Today marks the 64th anniversary of Hitler‘s death. What an asshole. … Also today, the World Wide Web was born to a Swedish company in 1993. It’s worth mentioning that the Web is NOT the Internet, but rather an application that makes the Internet user-friendly. … Cheers to Tubesteak for the decent design changes to the Community. … E-mails and photos are flying in for our Phish Ticket Contest. We’ll start counting them on May 1 and will have updates soon after.

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Bats come alive as Isotopes improve to 2-0

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FAIRHAVEN — Dave Gagliardi had four of the Rose Alley Isotopes’ 17 hits Tuesday night as the bats came alive in a 12-5 victory over the Outlaws.

Gags, who was 0-for-4 to open the season Monday, added four RBIs and two runs scored to his day.

“That’s what we’re looking for out of him,” coach Jon Darling said of Gags. “We want him to hit, but more importantly, we want him to make pizza.”

The middle of the order provided the pop Tuesday. Three-Six hitters (Yim, Gags, Bilty and Gifford) were a combined 11-for-13 with 9 RBIs.

The Outlaws jumped out to a 2-0 lead in the top of the first, but the Topes (2-0) responded with four in the bottom of the frame and never looked back. Bilty’s 2-run single highlighted the four-run first.

The Topes, who were well represented at the Rose Alley Ale House after the game for beers and wings, will have a few days off before returning to action Tuesday, May 5, for a double-header (KMP at 6 p.m. and Wrecking Crew ay 7:30) at Cushman Park in Fairhaven.

Community Develops Swine Flu Vaccine

Just in time to squash fears that everyone in the world is turning into decaying corpses, Decent Community has concocted an easy-to-prepare vaccine to combat the dreaded swine flu. You’ll likely find all of the serum’s ingredients in your household, and if not there, at your local supermarket. Once again, The Community has saved civilization from total annihilation!

Adhere to the following instructions to develop your own swine flu vaccine:

  1. Peel the meat off 4-5 cooked buffalo wings and grind it up in a food processor.
  2. In a bowl, mix the buffalo wing meat with the clippings of about 35 pubic hairs.
  3. Shoot a couple snot rockets into the bowl and stir.
  4. Grab a couple tuna casseroles and mash them up into the mixture.
  5. Bake mixture at 375 degrees for half an hour.
  6. Remove from freezer and drizzle a load of Community member semen on top.
  7. Serve with a positive attitude.

This should yield approximately 4 servings of swine flu vaccine. Yes! You no longer need to fret like a mofo — for the world will continue to exist! The World Health Organization can rest easy due to yet another breakthrough from Decent Community! Hip, hip, hooray!

Top T-Shirt Websites

There’s few things that The Community respects more than a quality t-shirt. Granted, the best tees are the ones you’ve worn and nurtured over the years — the ones your lady is begging you to throw away. You can occasionally find something decent at your local thrift store for a good price, but those places are too often dry due to like-minded scavengers.

But if you’re looking for that perfect tee, there’s quite a few options on the web. The selection is virtually limitless! Whether you’re looking for a totally funky-far-out design, a vintage sports tee, or anything in between, it can be found. And Decent Community is here to point you in the right direction. Behold, a list of the top t-shirt websites.

  • Threadless — One of The Community’s favorite dealers out there. Users can vote on their favorite designs, narrowed down from thousands of weekly submissions. Very unique goods and great prices as well!
  • Design By Humans — Very similar to Threadless, but appears a bit more avante-garde. Designs can even be intrusive — but there’s no denying the quality and creativity that goes into these tees.
  • dfunkd — This site serves as a portal to help locate classic t-shirts. News, analysis, and features like this one offering a directory of vintage t-shirt sellers on eBay populate this extremely chill-ass site.
  • Lafraise — Lafraise has some original, fun looks, however their designs can seem a hint kitschy at times. I think the site may have originated in France — which is great if that’s what you’re into.
  • Endangered Wear — Some hip threads at this joint (which you’ll see from the link). I like this site because it’s not strictly t-shirts. The one drawback would be its somewhat limited selection.
  • Vintage Vantage — Please click this link! Another one of The Community’s favorites due to its selection of the finest pop culture flavor (as opposed to more creative design). Be warned — many of their best shirts fall on the expensive side.
  • Ten Bills — Grab some heady t-shirts for only ten bills (and sometimes only five bills!). Cool designs. One drawback is that sometimes the shirts aren’t in stock.

**Other sites you should probably check out: Glennztees, GoApeShirts, RedBubble, TeeFury, ILoveWaterloo, ChopShopStore.

Isotopes open season with win

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WESTPORT — The Rose Alley Isotopes opened the 2009 season with a win Monday as coach Jon Darling grounded a game-winning RBI single up the middle in the seventh inning to lift the Topes over the Outlaws, 7-6.

“I got a pitch to hit and just tried to make good contact on it,” said Darling, who was 0-for-3 prior to knocking in the game-winning run. “It’s good to open the season with a win. Winning close games is so important and the team played well under pressure.”

Chris Desmarais paced the Topes offense Monday with three hits. Mike Rocha, Pat Long, Plumber Guy and newcomer Ethan Gifford also had multiple-hit games.

Slugger Dave Gagliardi went hitless in four at-bats, but contributed with a stunning, diving catch that was rated No. 4 on SportsCenter’s Top 10 Plays Monday night. Kurt Homer, playing first as the Topes were shorthanded, contributed with some nice defensive plays.

The Topes will welcome back Yim and Chris Pinault for Tuesday’s rematch with the Outlaws at Cushman Park in Fairhaven at 7:30 p.m. Check back at DecentCommunity to see how they make out.

Phish Ticket Giveaway!

 

So you struck out trying to get Phish tickets. You weren’t lucky enough for the advance lottery and LiveNation.com was useless. Well, fear not Phish fans, becasue Decent Community is giving away one ticket to the upcoming Phish concert on June 6 at the Comcast Center in Mansfield!

Don’t feel like spending an arm and a leg (as some scalpors are actually charging on Stubhub and Craigslist)? Just do your damndest to win our Phish Ticket Contest!

We will give away a ticket (general admission lawn seat) to the person who sends us the most pictures for DecentCollage! Here are the contest rules:

1. Go to DecentCollage and see how decent it is! Check out what it is and what we have.

2. Send a picture, whatever you think is decent (weather it’s a picture of Chuck Norris, Eric Clapton, or a picture of your Aunt Flo)  by attachment, to DecentCommunity@gmail.com with your name in the subject line. We will crop them and resize them to fit our template.

4. Email your friends, colleagues, grandparents, etc., and request them to submit a photo to DecentCommunity@gmail.com with your name in the subject line.  Check back to see your pics in the Collage and check back for updates on who’s leading the contest.

5. The person whose name is in the subject line that has got the most peeps to send a picture on their behalf wins! The contest starts May 1 and ends May 31. No entries will be counted prior to May 1 and after May 31. The winner may pick up his ticket in the Boston area, the New Bedford area or at the show on June 6.

Good luck everyone! Don’t forget to check back for updates. Surf around Decent Community while you’re here. We are your No. 1 source for everything DECENT!

Decent Community Intern

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Due to unprecedented recent growth, Decent Community is seeking out a summer intern looking to get their feet wet in the promotion of decency throughout the greater community. This is a fabulous opportunity for college students who are really good looking, reek of headiness, are a little bit weird, and love to party.

The intern will learn from masters of decency and be exposed to levels of chillness unavailable elsewhere in the industry. You’ll perform tasks such as buying us sixers, scoring us packs of smokes, fetching fine cigars, getting us tee times, finding us nice cuts of meat, dancing for us, massaging our feet, and reading us memorable poems.

We reckon this is quite the coveted position and, quite frankly, we should be charging you to work for us! So if you’re lookin to get your freak on, let’s get it on! We’ll be waiting for the best and brightest, but only the most decent candidates need apply!

*All interested candidates should send a resume and cover letter to DecentCommunity@gmail.com. Please note that we are unable to provide college credits for this internship.