Decent Community Reviews the V-Neck Sweater

vneck

Are you looking at my v-neck sweater?

The v-neck…

Named for the shape of the neckline, the v-neck sweater is masculine, feminine, grotesque and beautiful all in one. V-necks, like many other sweaters, are made out of a variety of expensive and non-expensive materials — cashmere (luxurious), cotton (soft), linen (rare) or thick-ass wool (warm and horn inducing).

Often worn over a collared shirt and/or collared shirt and tie combo, the v-neck can also be worn over a t-shirt (cazsh), no shirt at all (risky) or a turtle neck — mock (sporty) or a straight up long daddy folded over (classic). Worn under a blazer (distinguished) the v-neck can turn a drab, uncomfortable outfit into something of a cozy experience full of fashionable expressions (I look and feel good and that’s all that matters!)

V-neck sweaters look best when tucked into a nice pair of slacks. If you have nice abs, tuck the sweater into your slacks tighter. If you have a beer belly, continue to tuck (for God sakes continue to tuck!) but not as tight.

Use the v-neck appropriately to fashionably portray how you feel. It’s reassuring to know that there is one piece of clothing that can say so much without saying anything at all.  You may be thinking “I want this job, it’s mine!”; “How good do I look right now in my v-neck?”; “Lets get freaky together soon!” ; or “I’m tired and I want to take a nap.” All of which the v-neck can, and does, convey.

Getting Caught up in a “1-8-7”

It’s just about every day when a fool tries to set someone up for a 211. Chances are — they fuck around and get caught up in a 187. And so it goes for residents of Compton and beyond — the daily grind of trying to avoid getting jacked up.

Section 187 of the California Penal Code defines the crime of murder. Most white boys wouldn’t know this if it weren’t for mean gangsta rap artists singing about 187s in just about every one of their songs. A sampling:

  • Snoop and Dre collaberate on a jam called Deep Cover, also known as “187.”  You’ve heard it before: “Cause it’s 187 on an undercover cop.” In What’s My Name, you may also recall something similar when Snoop raps, “Mr. 187 on a mothafuckin cop.”
  • In Ice Cube’s Why Me he says, “I don’t give a FUCK what you saw on TV, but a 187 don’t make an OG.”
  • 50 Cent has a track called Curtis 187 where he laments, “I’m grimy, I’m greasy, I make a 187 look easy.”
  • In 2Pac’s jam called How Long Will They Mourn Me?, he rhymes, “Shit, retaliate and pull a 187, do real niggaz get to go to heaven?”

As these wildly popular rappers would lead us to believe — 187s are fairly prevalent, even if they are a dick move. And being a white boy who listens solely to gangsta rap, I’ve come to learn that getting caught up in 187s is just an unfortunate fact of life.

Real talk: It’s only a matter of time before one of my OGs gets gunned down, and I admit, I won’t be happy about it. But if one of my associates getting caught up in a 187 makes me “hard” or nets me more street cred — then I guess maybe it’ll be OK.

Thursday Ramblings

 Here’s what I know about Major League Baseball Spring Training games: They’re a joke, players run laps in the outfield during the game and only a few players on the big league roster even play (and only play for like 2 innings). It seems like the Red Sox are always playing the Twins. Who the hell are all those guys in the infield? Who’s pitching? I can’t believe people pay up to $500 to watch this crap. But when baseball starts again, it’s also the first time I can honestly tell myself that warmer weather is coming. It’s coming soon. And I dare for someone to tell me that we’re not due for an early Spring. …  Slumdog Millionaire lived up to all its Oscar and Golden Globes hype. Worth the price of admission and then some, the movie is a telling tale of life in the slums of India played to the backdrop of the Indian version of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire.” You won’t regret going, trust me …
The only picture of Julia Bond I could find that wouldn't get you fired.

The only picture of Julia Bond I could find that wouldn't get you fired.

A very happy 22nd birthday to pornstar Julia Bond. While not as famous as Jenna Jameson, Julia has made quite a name for herself over the years, being dubbed “Box Cover Queen” for gracing the covers of so many DVDs. Best fun fact about Julia Bond? She outted herself as a pornstar to her mom ON THE JERRY SPRINGER SHOW. I don’t know If I can, or should, do this, but here is a link to a Julia Bond porno. … Speaking of porn, did you know that Vivid offered the Octuplets lady a $1 million deal to make some spank-o-vision? The Associated Press reports the offer includes a year of free health insurance for her 14 kids. The unemployed, single-mother facing foreclosure on her home hasn’t responded yet. …  SportsCenter loves talking about the NBA Offseason of 2010, where the likes of LeBron James, Dewayne Wade, Chris Bosh, Tracy McGrady, Shaq, Ray Allen, etc. will all be free agents. That offseason will surelychange the landscape of the NBA, but think of the trade deadline in the middle of the 09-10 season. If Cleveland figures LeBron’s not gonna come back, will they trade him just go get something for him? Imagine LeBron, who will be better than Jordan

Useless

Averaged 5.3 points and 6.5 rebounds per game in 95-96.

someday, being a member of three different teams in a six-month span. … Welcome to the Celtics, Mikki Moore. I had never heard of you before, which isn’t surprising because you’ve never averaged double-digits in anything in your career and have played for seven different teams. But I’m glad you’re here. You’re 7 feet tall and not completely useless like Pervis Ellison. … Initial reviews for Apple’s new Web browser, Safari 4 Beta, have been decent! It looks pretty damn cool too. Anything’s better than Internet Explorer. … Chapter 2 of the Decent Community’s They Don’t Make Movies Like They Used To: History of the World Part 1, Nothing but Trouble and The Great Outdoors. …

Create Your Band Name and Album Cover

album-cover

(Tubesteak’s band: The Mad Magician. Album: The Man and the Airport)

The Community has been alerted to a decent little game that’s going around Facebook.com. It’s wicked fun. Here’s how it works:

  1. Go to Wikipedia’s random page: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random. The first random Wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.
  2. Go to Quotation Page’s “random quotations”: http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3. The last four or five words or so of the very last quote on the page is the title of your album.
  3. Go to Flickr and click “explore the last seven days”: http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days. The third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.
  4. Use Photoshop or something similar to piece it all together.

On Facebook, you’re then told to send it along to all your friends, yada, yada, yada. However, it’s our hope that Decent Community readers will send along their heady album covers to DecentCommunity@gmail.com. We’ll post up some of the good ones in the coming weeks. This is really a far out game and we’d love to see what some of you come up with!

New Bedford gaining ground on Boston?

Beantown is place to be in Mass. No question about it, Boston has the best bars, good grizzle, jobs (not that there are any jobs out there, but with so much business in the big city there are a good number of employment opportunities), as well as quality sport teams and entertainment venues.

But look out Beantown, here comes New Beige!

If, and this is a megahuge if, all current proposed projects are actually followed through and constructed, The Whaling City will have commuter rail to The Hub, a resort/casino and a vibrant waterfront entertainment district similar to nice areas of big cities on the water. Let’s take a brief, optimistic look at some of the action going on in NB.

COMMUTER RAIL

Deval Patrick loves spending taxpayer money. A percentage of his proposed 18-cent hike in the gas tax will fund The Southcoast Rail Project, something he has talked up even before he was elected into office. It would probably connect to the Lakeville line.

RESORT/CASINO

Ahh, free drinks all night long. Musical acts, restaurants, gambling and general enjoyment is just around the corner. With the economy not getting any better, the state could sure use some alternate sources of income. Here is the developer’s proposed design.

VIBRANT WATERFRONT

SouthCoast officials have proposed turning the city’s waterfront area into a boardwalk-ish area with bars, restaurants, shops, etc. Think Thames Street in Newport. They also want to make changes to Route 18 to accommodate the increased traffic. With the downtown area already a pretty decent place to hit up the bars and get some grizzle, the waterfront revitalization would be the icing on the cake.

Throw in the freshest seafood in the world and 10 years from now, New Bedford could be the place to be.

Cheez Balls

planters-cheezballs_hdlg

Ever since I was a little Helmet, when my balls were the size of them, Cheez Balls have been in my life.  My grandfather used to love Cheez Balls.  If you brought him a can of Planters Cheez Balls you were a god.  I feel like in some ways Cheez Balls reflected his personality — funny, slightly off the radar, distinguished.  Even the Planter Peanut with his cane reminds me of him.  Whenever I see that blue tin of Planters Cheez Balls I think of him sitting in his recliner, swatting at the cat with his cane and his trusty Cheez Balls by his side.  Even as an adult Helmet with full grown Cheez Balls of my own, I still enjoy snacking on cheese flavored corn puffs.  It’s harder nowadays to find the Planters Cheez Balls but I never hesitate to grab a bag of Utz as a substitution… What a delicious snack…

Emeril Admits to Stealing “BAM” Catchphrase

FALL RIVER, Mass — Recent developments reveal that Emeril Lagasse, celebrity chef, restaurateur, and television personality, obtained food-world fame by stealing the catchphrase that landed him widespread noteriety.

In a statement prepared late Monday evening, Lagasse admits that his go-to mantra of “BAM!” was in fact ripped off from a man named LeRoy Hughes, a retired Deli Attendant from Fall River, Massachusetts.

“LeRoy used to make italian grinders back in our neighborhood and when piecing together the hoagie’s components, he’d shout ‘BAM!'” Lagasse admitted. “I have made a career out of saying ‘BAM!’ and today I am ashamed to say I am not the originator of the phrase.”

This information came to light as a result of a grass roots campaign led by Hughes to strip Lagasse of his undeserved fame. Facing mounting scrutiny, Lagasse finally relented and identified himself as an imposter.

“The phrase ‘BAM!’ has been such a great success over the years, and I admit, is very much a part of my image,” said Lagasse. “I will no longer be saying ‘BAM!’ and every part of my ‘BAM!’ branding will be discontinued effective immediately.”

Lagasse’s somber announcement was in stark contrast with the emotion of LeRoy Hughes. “I’m gonna be rich! ‘BAM!’ ‘BAM!’ ‘BAM!’ ‘BAM!’ ‘BAM!’ Where’s my TV show at? ‘BAM!’ ‘BAM!’ Where my restaurants at? “BAM!'” Hughes screamed in an interview in front of his apartment building.

Food afficianados throughout the world remained in a state of shock and pondered Emeril’s legacy now that his phrase is known to be an imitation. Chef Bobby Flay lamented, “I’m afraid to say that Emeril really isn’t too cool without his ‘BAM!’ catchphrase. I think he’s a fraud. I mean ‘BAM!’ is basically a performance enhancing phrase in the same way steroids are a performing enhancing drug. But hey, he’s the one who has to look in the mirror every day.”

Many believe that this revelation will mark the end of the Emeril empire. “He rode the whole ‘BAM!’ thing about as far as one can go,” said chef Todd English. “Not sure what else he brings to the table, so I’d say it’s time for him to ride off into the sunset.”