Boston’s Five Best Burgers

(Eagle’s Deli’s Godzilla Burger)

Decent Community knows one thing, in addition to decency, and that is; BURGERS.  We have sampled many, if not all, of Boston’s burger joint, fast food restaurants, upscale restaurants, hole-in-the-wall dives and speciality restaurants in search of Boston’s Best Burger.  Our burger juice laden tongue has led us to the following establishments pumping out some of the city’s most decent burgers.

Boston’s Five Best Burgers:

1.  Eagle’s Deli (Brighton)

Forget about it.  In the Community’s mind this was a no brainer.  Simplicity, juiciness and tons of flavor makes this famous Brighton establishment’s burger the best on our list.  The burgers are simple, diner style burgers — greasy and relatively thin (but dense) served on simple soft white rolls with American white cheese.  This place is generally packed and the staff is relatively aggressive, but none of this negates the fact that the Eagle’s Deli simply makes the most decent burger in the city.  Eagle’s Deli is located at 1918 Beacon St. Brighton

2.  Charley’s (Back Bay)

Potato buns.  Charley’s on Newbury features a great pub style handmade juicy burger.  There’s nothing particular that sets Charley’s apart from other pub style burgers, except it tastes really delicious.  We’re not sure what makes it soo good, but it is.  Charley’s is located at 284 Newbury St. Boston

3.  Columbus Cafe (South End)

Headiness.  Columbus Cafe makes a surprise appearance coming in at number 3 on our list.  The Columbus Cafe has a daily sirloin burger special, which creates nice variety and every mismatch combo they chose seems to hit the spot.  Columbus Cafe is located at 535 Columbus Ave. Boston

4.  Clarke’s (Faneuil Hall)

Clarke’s, really!?!  Yes, Clarke’s.  Clarke’s burger is on par with Charley’s in terms of burger style.  This is a no-frills burger, but very solid.  Clarke’s burger took the Community by surprise and we think you’ll agree that their burger is surprisingly super fantastic.  Clarke’s is located at 21 Merchants Row. Boston

5.  Aquitaine (South End)

This burger has funk written all over it.  It’s not typical to find a good burger in a French bistro, but Aquitaine makes the Top 5 with their bacon boursin burger.  This 14 dollar burger is by far the most expensive on our list, but it’s that good.  Aquitane is located at 569 Tremont St. Boston

Honorable Mention:  Uburger (Kenmore Square), R.F. O’Sullivan & Son (Porter Square), Audobon Circle (Fenway), Charlie’s Kitchen (Harvard Square).

Jesse and the Rippers Concert Review

Nieces and nephews were out in full force last night for what was anticipated as Boston’s concert of the century. Jesse and the Rippers came to town and discharged a huge hunk of euphoria at Saint’s Exeter Street digs, and those who were there are already calling it the finest musical exhibition the hub has ever witnessed.

In a city with a well-chronicled rock n’ roll pedigree, Jesse Katsopolis gave new meaning to rocking the fuck out of Beantown. Jamming the shit out of such hits as “Forever” and “I’m Gonna Freakin Kill You,” Katsopolis and his band of erotic looking sex addicts/musicians had the whole crowd naked just one minute into their first number. Puddles of sweat three and four inches deep accumulated throughout the venue, and the only complaint of concert goers was that the puddles weren’t deeper.

Opening this legendary night of music was full-bodied and exceptionally round-tittied turntablist DJ Tanner, who somehow has mastered a technique where she scratches records with her nipples and manipulates beats with her fat, juicy ass. During her performance several members of the audience could be heard screaming, “I’m getting a boner!”

Of course, there were no shortage of celebrities on hand. Perhaps the signature moment of the night came when a noticably coked-up Ashley Olsen sat in with the band for a rendition of crowd favorite “I’m Gonna Chainsaw off Your Dick or Your Boobs (depending on what sex you are).” To say Katsopolis and his Rippers brought down the house would be a vast understatement.

After the show, an out of breath fan stumbled out of Saint wearing only a condom. When asked if he could describe what he just witnessed, he paused for a few moments and let out a slow but poignant moan, “That… was decent.”

Boston Flip Cup Championship

*** The tournament is now OVER. If you’d like to get on our mailing list, send an email to DecentCommunity@gmail.com and we’ll be sure to let you know about future events (trivia night), tournaments (pool, pop-a-shot) and competitions (flip cup redux, dance offs).

CONGRATULATIONS to the winning squad, The Clam Diggers who took home the cash, shirts, trophy and the tournament bracket.

We’d like to thank everyone for their participation in the tourney and those who donated the raffle prizes.  Thanks to New Balance, JA Stats, Hip2BeSquare.net and everyone else that helped make the tourney a success.

If you’d like to purchase a Boston Flip Cup Championship t-shirt, please shoot us an email and we will look into ordering more and if you have any pictures of the event that you’d like to share you can send them to us as well.

DC Champs

 

Decent Community Presents

The Boston Flip Cup Championship

Saturday, November 8th – 2:00 pm – 6:00 pm

Copperfield’s Bar – 98 Brookline Ave. Boston, MA

The Decent Community would like to announce the 2008 Boston Flip Cup Championship! Taking place at Copperfield’sright next to Fenway Park, the event includes prizes, an open beer bar, and a $1,000 first place payoff.

DETAILS: 32 teams, 6 players per team. $25 entry per player ($150 per team). Single elimination. Best of seven matches.

YOUR $25 ENTRY FEE INCLUDES free beer from 2:00 pm – 6:00 pm and automatic chances to win fun prizes throughout the event.

HOW TO ENTER: Send an email to DecentCommunity@gmail.com with your team name and the list of players on your team. We’ll reserve your spot and send payment instructions. NOTE: Your spot cannot be confirmed until we receive full payment from your team. Spots are filling up very quickly, so sign up soon!

OTHER RELEVANT INFO:

  • If you’d like to go to this event, but don’t want to play flip cups, we can accommodate you. There is, however, limited amount of space for non-players. Shoot us an email to reserve a spot.
  • This is a private event and you’ll have to be signed up with us to gain entry to the bar. This is a strictly 21+ event.

***We anticipate this being an event to remember and are excited to crown Flip Cup Champions of Boston! If you have any questions, please email DecentCommunity@gmail.com. Sign up soon and join us for what will surely be a wonderful afternoon!***

Sessions of Decency

Session \ˈse-shən\ n. – a laid back meeting or chill scene in which mellow bastards revel in acts of decency. Often abbreviated as “sesh.”

Welcome to another Decent Community reading session. In this sesh, The Community felt it necessary to address the decency of sessions. We’re talking all types of sessions, each of them decent in their own unique ways because, at their core, they’re gatherings to build and celebrate commraderie — with the sole purpose of sharing good vibes.

Think about it. Have you ever been to an indecent session? Try telling me that boning sessions aren’t full of pleasure. Everyone loves a killer jam sesh. What about unwinding with a nice herb sesh? Bronson and grill sessions are to die for, while grizzle and slap sessions are always satisfying. You can stay active having hack sessions, table tennis sessions, or gang-bang sessions and you can get your competitive fix with a cribbage or flip cup session. Man, I’m craving a mean sesh right now!

Perhaps the best session of all is the Community favorite, bullshit session. Nothing is quite as reassuring and comforting as a good old-fashioned back and forth amongst decent souls. Speak your mind in the name of storytelling and participate in the arcane discourse that unites everyone. Happy Sessions to all Community members!

Mind Your Cleavage

You know you’ve seen it… Although far less likely are you to admit it.  Much less likely to admit that you have inadvertently noticed an 81 year old boob.  Like staring at a car crash, you’re morbidly interested, scientifically curious, contemplative and scared. 

It serves as a constant reminder that we all get old.  Father Time, that bastard, continues to take our young ladies!  Father Time, like the whore that is Mother Nature, is one selfish son of a bitch!  I guess things change, and like Grand Daddy Helmet Head before me I too must roll with the punches.  As the summer ends, a new season begins — boobs young and old are covered up, sent into hibernation for what is expected to be a long, cold, hard winter. 

Father Time and Mother Nature continually attempt to disrupt our decency.  However, in the moment decency continues, despite constant reminders contrary to said philosophy. 

So while my forthcoming request will undoubtedly be revised as I age, I currently state:  Do us all a favor, granny, and mind your cleavage!

You Are Getting Sleepy

(Stare at the + in the middle and the dots will disappear!)

Here at The Decent Community, we celebrate sorcery, magic, wizardry, witchcraft, voodoo and anything else that may fuck with your head. Psyching people out, playing them for a fool, or just leaving people scratching their heads is something everyone has a good time with, so it’s important to jump at any opportunity to dupe a bastard!

How all this shit works is a whole different story. Is there a hypnotism school out there? Because if there was, I don’t see why it wouldn’t be the most popular university known to man. “You will flash your boobies at every man who walks by.”  “You will go find a bunch of hundred dollar bills, buy me a few cases of beer, and leave me with the change!” Does anyone know of a good hypnotism school?

I suppose if I was a practitioner of these forms of black magic, the first thing I would do is use my powers to promote decency. Decent bastard Chris Angel — the Mind Freak — has a good time with this kind of material. Look at him, he gets mad ladies, drives around Lamborghinis, and walks on water. Now can anyone tell me that the dark arts aren’t decent?

Pie in the Face

It appears large breasted babies love the old pie in the face.

Like a rubber covered bone, there is nothing more frusterating and ill fitting than a good old cream pie being smashed in your face.  Yes that’s right, we are talking about pieng!

Have a guy grab a pie and grab a girl and give it the old college try!  Smash, smash, smash that pie in their face! Give me a P — P!  Give me an I — I!  Give me an E — E!  What’s that spell!?  DECENT!

Fall is not only the best season for gear, it is also the Season of the Pie and Decent Community is proud to be the primary ambassador.

Fall is the Best Time for Wearing Clothes

   

Notice the chill in the air? Feeling the ever-so slight bite to your exposed skin? The seasons are turning, summer into fall, nude into fully-clothed, and I think there’s no question that autumn brings with it the most decent gear-wearing season of the year. Behold:

  • Temperatures are exceptionally agreeable — a comfortable coolness, but nowhere near that piercing winter chill!
  • If you wear a coat, it’s probably light and unobtrusive, and very likely serves a purpose of style instead of practicality.
  • Fall is a prime time for earth tones, which correlates with the shifting color of nature. Indeed, we are connected.
  • It’s the best jean and flannel shirt wearing time of the year — a very decent, comfortable get-up.
  • There’s a good chance you got some gear at the end of the summer — whether it be a simple wardrobe supplement or a fall overhaul. New duds ooze decency.
  • Turtlenecks, vests, and sweaters make their way out of the closet and into the line of sight of people you want to be noticed by.

I think the only downside to wearing fall garb is the amount of time it takes to strip down before a sex-a-thon. Do The Community a favor and get your seasonal apparel in order. Bask in its decency and wear it before the hairy beast that is winter in New England unleashes its yearly wrath.

Restaurant Review: Aquitaine

Aquitaine

569 Tremont, South End, Boston

If you love burgers, and you have a girlfriend who loves breakfast and insists on going out to breakfast even if you don’t like breakfast, Aquitaine is the place for you.  Why? 

Grizzle:  They have a ridiculous boursin (cheese spread stuff), bacon burger on their brunch menu.  They also have really good eggs benedict for those more inclined to stick with the breakfast foods before 11am — Not this guy.

Drinks:  Nice variety of brunch drinks and more decently:  they are stiff.

Atmosphere:  This popular South End French bistro’s atmosphere would be a lot chiller if not full of clowny yuppie types — the folks that frequent this place seem on par with the rest of the South End.  This place sports a good date atmosphere, is nice when hungover on the weekends (although it’s a touch loud if majorly hung), but we could see this place being ideal for a group of 4-6 kicking back relaxing on a nice snowy night over some stiff daddy drinks with some decent friends.

Price:  Not cheap, but not expensive — a little above average.  The drinks are between 4 and 8 bones and the aforementioned burger is 14 bones, but well worth it.

On the Decency Scale, Aquitaine gets a wood-popping, burger-grease-drenched DECEN.

Complimenting Women

“No, no, no, you were amazing last night!” (Notice her delight.)

Because recent information has come to light, The Community is now ahead of the curve in terms pleasing lovely ladies. We’ve come to learn that beautiful babies love to be complimented, and if complimented enough, not only will they put out, but they’ll demand little in return. Compliments given to women can also remedy potentially trying situations.

Let’s pretend you’ve ralphed on your girlfriend’s favorite dress. Try complimenting her by saying something like, “Wow Baby, your bombs look especially milky tonight!” Chances are that she’ll simply forget about the puke on her dress, give a smile, and say, “Meet me in the bedroom — ten seconds.”

Other compliments to get your lady in the mood or alleviate relationship diffculties include:

  • Your eyes are more seductive than a Mozart concerto.
  • You are cute like Bambi the deer.
  • I want to rub lasagna all over your body.
  • I value the density and lushness of your pubic hair.
  • I want to guzzle your bath water.
  • Your farts are more appreciated than a basket full of sweets!
  • Even if you lived in the ghetto, I’d still want to get with you.
  • If I wrote a book about you, I’d call it The Bible.

While everyone loves to be decent, it often feels better to be told you’re decent in one way or another. Remember, ladies are human, and making them feel like first-class babes is a decent way to get on good terms with our boob-chested counterparts. Being kind is decent — so get out there and tell your baby exactly what she means to you!

Trendy Nightclubs

Life, as we know it, wouldn’t exist without trendy nighclubs. Nobody would have anything to do at night or on the weekends, we’d have no idea who was cool and who wasn’t, and we’d have nowhere to throw away money that may be better spent elsewhere. Trendy nightclubs, basically, run everyone’s lives.

My entire past weekend was devoted to trendy nightclubs. I spent time looking for girls to stand in line with me so I could look cool… and hopefully be let in the club. I had to locate chic, black, uncomfortable clothing to fit in among the well-tanned, gelled-hair jet set. I had to borrow money from my uncle so I could afford to a buy a couple drinks. And I had to build up strength so as not to be intimidated by jacked up bouncers who crush normal people like meat in a meat grinder.

Perhaps more so than anything, I had to develop a sleeker-than-thou attitude which would assure me a sense of belonging to something that gives me my identity —  who I am, how cool I am, how great I smell, what kind of car I drive, where I get my clothes, and if I’ve ever seen a celebrity at a club. Bottom line: nightclubs rule, and if you don’t go, don’t get let in because you’re wearing piece-of-shit footwear, or if you can’t score enough babies, you’re as out-of-style as they come!

Ed “Always Decent” Hochuli

We have comprised a list of some of the most decent nicknames of our all time favorite NFL referee, number 85, Ed Hochuli:

  • Ed “Guns” Hochuli
  • Eddie Guns
  • Biceps Hochuli
  • Ed “Hawk Eye” Hochuli
  • The Hoch
  • The Hochulator
  • Edward Muscle Hands
  • Edward Whistle Hands
  • Tight Shirt McGee
  • The Lawyer
  • Esquire
  • Ed “Only My Mom Can Call Me Edward” Hochuli
  • Ed “Bigger, Faster, Stronger” Hochuli
  • Hock-a-loogie Hochuli
  • Decent Physique

Troposphere -> Stratosphere -> Mesosphere -> Thermosphere -> Exosphere -> Hochosphere.

* Please email decentcommunity@gmail.com if you are interested in purchasing a number 85 Ed Hochuli jersey.

Weekend Checklist

The Community would like to share a decent checklist of things to do for the weekend of September 19-21, although most of these things can be done pretty much any weekend or even during the week. Complete the entire checklist and win a bag full of dicks.

And the cycle continues. Loving every minute of the decent weekend. We hope you enjoy your Friday evening to Sunday night, and would love to hear about your decent weekend checklist!

Decent Community Check Cashing Service

As Community Members know, one of the most important necessities to have within a Community is a reliable check cashing service. Need a few bones to buy a pack of smokes? A dollar or two short of purchasing that nip of Smirnoff? Perhaps you owe your drug dealer some cash for the fix he gave you last night. Look no further — The Decent Community now cashes checks.

While normal check cashing services charge you a hefty fee to retrieve your lettuce, and tedious and uninteresting banks make you go through the hassle of opening an account that will never have any loot in it anyway, The Community charges absolutely no money and throws away all the paperwork and account minimums!

All The Decent Community needs from you is a nugget of decent information! That’s right, in person or by US Mail, we’ll give you one hundred percent of the amount of your check as long as you give us a decent nugget of information. Take advantage of this once in a decent lifetime offer! No other check cashing service has this type of deal!

**For more information on The Decent Community Check Cashing Service, write to us at DecentCommunity@gmail.com. We expect to be bombarded with requests, but we promise to get you your money as soon as possible. We look forward to obtaining decent nuggets of information from all of you.

Bostonist.com is our Indecent Blog of the Week

Bostonist is Decent Community’s crap blog of the week.  Weeeeeeeee!  Congrats, Bostonist! 

Bostonist could be one of the most generic blogs out there.  It’s a standard city website that was started by the people at Gothamist, Inc, who then used their cookie cutter city-centric blog style to invade, pollute, and dilute coverage of metropolitan lifestyle in other cities.

The genericness of this site is the main cause for our fury — stereotypical discussions of Boston sports, restaurants, and over-publicized events around the city.  You may be thinking; doesn’t Decent Community do something similar?  While a few elements may bear semblence, The Decent Community provides insights that go beyond the already-available info in The Globe, Improper Bostonian, Phantom Gourmet, etc. (The Phantom is a decent show, even though the Andelmans can be a touch goofy sometimes.)  Essentially, Bostonist reiterates the same old shit from the same lame publications that bombard the City of Boston. 

While Decent Community salutes those who are innovative, such as the founders of the Gothamist network, we do not salute those who compromise their creativity (and their soul) to write the standard, archetypical poop like the folks over at the Bostonist.

Slaves to Decency

I came across a startling bit of info last night while perusing Paste Magazine — “there are twice as many human slaves in the world today as there were when Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation.” I’m not sure where the author got this statistic, but it made me do a double take. Where is the outrage? Shouldn’t there be some kind of war going on to end this oppression? Then it hit me…

We’re all slaves in some form or another. Slaves to wages, slaves to traffic lights, slaves to our sex drive, slaves to the governement, fashion, alarm clocks, science, and so on and so forth. But more so than anything else, we at The Community are slaves to decency. I get a woody just thinking about the concept!

Being a slave to decency fundamentally means that you’re a slave to freedom and possibilities, where nothing is off limits, and frontiers are boundless. Rejoice! Because if you’re handcuffed to decency, there are no bosses, victories are perpetual, laughs are completely unrestricted, and authorities are whoever or whatever you want them to be.

We Community Members can turn a bad situation upside down — and truth be told, there’s no reason we shouldn’t reverse the negative in everything. We must continually advance our quest to do away with actual slavery and its ramifications and become thoroughly engaged as an uncompromising servant of decency.

What The Community Isn’t Saying About Sarah Palin

The whole goddamn world can’t stop talking about vice presidential vixen Sarah Palin. Since August 29th, when old senile bastard John McCain named her as his boning/running mate, the world has come to a virtual standstill. Democrats are irate and demand to know her positions, Republicans declare that the Democrats are sexist, the media doesn’t know which end is up, while the always-vocal hard core right wing masturbates over the fact that she hunts and may have even spoken to God himself.

Well, hear this: The Community isn’t taking the bait.

Hesitant to alienate readers, unwilling to spew hateful insults, and get caught up in the shallow, dumbed-down nonsense that is the current state of politics, The Community will refrain from exposing the following (confirmed) secrets about Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin:

  • She suffers from acid flashbacks almost daily as a result of previous relationships with two men currently serving jail time for manufacturing LSD — Willam Leonard Pickard and Clyde Apperson. Who’s got my acid?
  • This is supposedly Sarah Palin’s favorite book ever (I’m not sure I’d call it a book though).
  • Her husband won the Dingleberry Championship of Alaska — one of the state’s most illustrious competitions.
  • She passed many bills encouraging the use of the Alaskan Pipeline.
  • She named these two websites as the ones she visited most in the passed year.

We’ll close with two of the more memorable quotes from her young campaign.

  • “If I can’t fall asleep, I think about all the people out there who are suffering from Montezuma’s Revenge. It’s quite comforting.”
  • “My favorite season is definitely winter — the Alaskan chill makes my nipples harder than beaver teeth.”

Current Happenings in the Red Sox Community

With just under two weeks left in the Boston Red Sox regular season, The Community thought now would be a decent time to take a look at some topical (and not so topical) issues affecting the team and their larger contingencies as they head into the stretch run.

  • Nobody has talked about the effect of losing L’Monstro with the departure of Manny. Apparently L’Monstro was a pretty popular clubhouse guy. We’ll see if there’s anything to this.
  • How much better was life with Gordon Edes on the Globe’s Sox beat? Nowadays the game recaps are terrible, and the Red Sox Notebook doesn’t hold a candle to Edes’ work. This Amalie Benjamin broad is simply not cutting it — especially in a market that craves baseball writing as Boston does. Cafardo is a chump. Now that the Globe has Massarotti, why the fuck aren’t they using him more?
  • Is Masterson now the eighth inning setup man? I feel like this makes the most sense, but there’s the argument that the bastard is a rookie, and Okajima did fine in that position last year. Either way, I feel like our bullpen is finally coming together nicely in time for the postseason. (Except for Grandpa Mike Timlin — who has absolutely no business pitching in a game unless the outcome has already been decided.)
  • It’ll be interesting to see how J.D. Drew bounces back from his injury. He’s been out for a month now and the Sox have been playing some good ball without him. Will he just hop right into the lineup and force Ellsbury and Coco (who has been playing great) to split time?
  • Not sure if you saw pics from the Red Sox wive’s fashion show recently, but there’s a few decent bettys in there. I think I’d take on Beckett‘s girl, Lester‘s girl, Ellsbury‘s girl, and Okajima‘s girl (because she’s exotic). *P.S. Noticeably absent from this event was super-decent babe Mark Kotsay‘s girl.
  • Decent question — Who is your Game 1 starter in the playoffs? Lester has been dealing pretty hard, and Beckett is Mr. Postseason. I understand that different circumstances/scheduling may dictate who ends up starting, but this is a damn difficult question. I guess if I had to say, Beckett would have to get the nod. He’s lights out in October.
  • The Sox pulled out some rookie hazing and I always get a kick out of watching these bastards dressed in drag. One of the dudes, I think it was George Kottaras, looked pretty bangin with those big firm titties shootin out of his chest!
  • I recently read that Julio Lugo is convinced he’s coming back before the postseason, and even worse, thinks the starting shortstop job is his! Julio! Take off, eh! Nobody wants you here! One of the best moments of the season was when you went down! I don’t even want to be thinking about your sorry ass at this critical juncture of the season!

Cake and the Office Birtday Party

Where I work we have a cake monthly, at the very least.  People join our group, we have a cake.  People leave, we have a cake.  Someone has a bad commute, we have a cake. 

Yesterday I had cake at 11:30am.

At this point I consider myself a freaking cake expert.  I’ve had homemade ice cream cake, carrot cake, strawberry cake, vanilla cake, chocolate cake, vanilla and chocolate cake, coconut cake and sometimes a pie is thrown into the mix.  Whatever.

But it’s not really the cake that bothers me the most.  What bothers me most is singing happy birthday.  There is nothing more demeaning and disingenuous than a bunch of adults half-heartily singing happy birthday in an office. 

One time we started singing happy birthday with little conviction.  We only got through the second verse when everyone slowly lost interest and the song faded into silence.  Talk about awkward.

Tournament of Decent Rodents

After many requests, The Community has finally heeded to the demands of its constituency and put on a Tournament of Decent Rodents. Getting all these rodents in the same place was no easy task, but if that’s what The Community wants, then we will give it to them.

This tournament was primarily judged on which rodent embodies the most rodent-like spirit, and possessed the most rodent-like qualities. Anything else that they brought to the table and we deeemed decent was also taken into account.

The Mole, Hamster, Gerbil, and Beaver stood out among the other contestants mostly because of their nibbling abilities. Meanwhile, the Hamster and Gerbil garnered points for being cute (and also a sex toy), the Mole received a bonus for being an unsightly growth on your skin, and the Beaver got extra credit for also being a vagina.

Think about it — which would you choose? The specific Beaver that entered this tournament was especially tight and had beautiful hair. When it came down to it, there was really no option other than awarding the Beaver first place in the Tournament of Decent Rodents.