Mad Russian is Pretty Funky and Definitely Irate.

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***UPDATE: So it has been 7 months since The Community last saw the Mad Russian and an update on the smoking status is appropriate.  All 3 of us that saw the Russian still do not smoke…Regularly.  Personally, I smoke a couple cigs on the weekend after a nice meal or when nailing mad bronsons.  Other than that, there are no smokes for this guy on the weekdays.  So all things considered, 7 months later, I think the Mad Russian was still a good investment.

This is how it went down. 

It’ s in this little dumpy apartment converted into an office in Brookline.

Sitting in a waiting room with a bunch of smokers trying to quit is weird.  Strangers are weird.

The psychologist who ownes the above office must be jealous at how packed the Russian always is because the loby was packed. 

We went into the group session.   He sits at a desk with nothing on it and screams like a madman in a thick accent about over prescribing medication, tells people not to have surgery, heals some people by wiggling his finger, slams his desk, gets pretty irate and aggressive on people, especially the old dude that fell asleep. 

I sat there for about 2 hours trying to understand what he was saying/what was going on.  At that point I think the majority of people were offended and skeptical but the Mad Russian could care less. 

After 2 hours everyone leaves and one-on-ones begin.  You go in, sit down, close your eyes, say in your head “I am smoking,” raise your hand, he makes a sneazing type noise and tells you to open your eyes.  The Russian Said I was a good looking guy (hmmmmmmm), that I needed to eat smaller portions, and sent me on my way. 

Last night I think I had a craving after a couple bronsons, but every time I think about cigs, it’s tough to explain but…I know I smoked, however, I can’t really remember what it felt like to smoke so I think breaking that connection has eliminated the cravings.  I’m erious.  He said that if you don’t quit now, you never will, which is the main thing i got out of it…

He also used the term “fucked like elephant” a lot…I’ve never heard this term before, and I don’t really know what it means, but I like it – extremely decent term.  

The Mad Russian’s general shteeze is to use bio energy to held break the craving cycle.  While the session was a pretty awkward experience the guy has a great success rate.  I have thought about cigs since I went yesterday, but I can’t fully recall what the experience of smoking one is like.  Right now I definetly don’t so we’ll see how this thing plays out.  For 65 bones you can’t go wrong, so I would recommend the Russian, if for nothing else but to watch him get irate on a group of adults.  

Additional Info: 

Yefim Shubentsov has spent the past sixteen years running a clinic in Brookline, Massachusetts, for sufferers of cravings. In that time, he has seen more than 96,000 patients, his fame growing by word of mouth alone. Yefim Shubentsov has never once advertised.  

He was on unsolved mysteries, which is pretty decent: originally broadcast on july 26, 2001.

Contact Info:

1680A Beacon Street Suite 201
Brookline, MA 02445
(617)232-3930

Decent Mad Russian Quote:  If you are reading this, you may be in a prison too–a prison of craving. whether it’s for food, for cigarettes, or for anything else, your craving keeps you locked in your own windowless cell, with no way out…

…No doubt brother, no doubt.

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conversation taking place right now in my office

‘how is that chip in relation to, umm, a regular chip?’

‘pretty good’

‘but, how is it in relation to a regular chip?’

‘ummm, it’s good i mean, it has less calories than a regular chip and it still tastes good.’

‘oh, that’s good to know, i always wanted to know how those chips compared to regular chips.’

losers.